High Profile Sex Scandals

Should we expect more from our leaders?

Lately, I feel like I’ve been sitting through an unbearably long episode of a Jerry Springer show, pummeled with high-profile sex scandals from senators, governors and mayors. Their secrets become headline news and like the flow of a polluted river, their stories seem to have no end.

Most recently, South Carolina governor Mark Sanford admitted to an affair with a woman in Argentina after a strange six-day disappearance. Nevada senator John Ensign admitted an affair with a staffer last week. They join a long list of fallen leaders including James E. McGreevey, Larry Craig, David Vitter, Eliot Spitzer, David Paterson, Kwame Kilpatrick, John Edwards and Vito Fossella.

Accusations of homosexual trysts, madams, prostitutes and affairs are followed by words of self-defense, court battles and tearful apologies. In some cases, resignations follow. Communities and families have been betrayed and traumatized. Behind the scenes, children suffer.

What’s our problem? Do we expect too much of our leaders? Are we too Victorian about sex? Should we shed the ”myth of monogamy” and take our cue from the animal kingdom — as suggested in a New York Times piece? (”In Most Species, Faithfulness Is a Fantasy” by Natalie Angier). 

I am not ready to let the great grey shrikes and long-tailed macaques mentor me in behavioral ethics. But is it unrealistic to expect exemplary moral character from our leaders?

Sex scandals rocking the political world and bringing down powerful leaders is an ancient story line. Even the Judeo-Christian scriptures are peppered with powerful stories of sexual deviance and disgrace. King David’s encounter with Bathsheba and murderous plot against her husband is one example.

These stories are not limited to politicians. During the ’80s, sexual scandals of high-profile ministers like Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggart were prime-time news. Later, a string of Roman Catholic priests became embroiled in allegations of sexual misconduct costing the Catholic Church millions in legal fees and settlements. Most recently, Ted Haggard, former president of the National Association of Evangelicals, was exposed for soliciting a former male prostitute.

Political sexual scandals reached an all-time low in American history during the Clinton presidency. I remember how hard it was to explain the president’s behavior to our children during that time.

Most people are frankly cynical about the personal lives of politicians. Hypocrisy is expected. The question is not whether political office demands certain character traits but which ones it requires. Does it require those relating to sex: self-restraint, fidelity to past commitments and honor in personal relationships?

Is the behavior of our leaders reflective of deeper societal changes regarding sex? Have we become a culture of sex without standards? For years, liberal sociologists told us we were too inhibited and repressive. They warned that this was the cause of many sexual disorders. If we wanted a sexually healthy society, we needed to become more open and sexually expressive.

Overall, our new openness has not abolished sexual disorders. Instead, we’ve gone from a sex-oriented culture to a sexually disoriented one. 

The new code has resulted in empty and broken relationships, self-hatred and worthlessness, unwanted pregnancies and an epidemic of deadly venereal disease.

Serial divorce is common. Most marriages are fragile at best. Severe marital breakdown has produced a tsunami of shattered and dysfunctional lives. The effects of sexual promiscuity consume us: teen pregnancy, abortion, fatherless children, sexual abuse, venereal disease, rape and abandonment.

We need role models for our children in sexual conduct and marital faithfulness. Scripture says, ”Marriage should be honored by all” (Hebrews 13:4). It seems right to want our leaders to offer such examples. But, the changes we need must go far deeper. A look to the Creator is what we need — not lessons from the animal kingdom.

Steve Cornell

senior pastor

Millersville Bible Church,

58 W. Frederick St.

Millersville, PA. 17551

717-872-4260

Should We Love Ourselves?

by Steve Cornell

How do you feel about yourself?  Do you have a good dose of self-esteem?  Do you have a good self-image?  In the past 25-30 years, answers to these questions have become the prominent concerns of education, psycho-therapy, counseling and parenting.

In a popular magazine, one writer summarized the prevailing trend in a disturbing way. He suggested that,  “Feeling good about ourselves may in fact be the cornerstone of our total well-being.”

When this emphasis became popular, it didn’t take long for certain church leaders to hook their wagons to the self-esteem movement. One such leader stated, “Self-esteem or pride in being human is the single greatest need facing the human race today.” (Robert Schuller, Self-Esteem: The New Reformation, p.19)  A little later in the same book, he wrote, “Once a person believes he is “an unworthy sinner” it is doubtful if he can honestly accept the saving grace God offers in Christ.” (Robert Schuller, Ibid., p. 98). Unbelievable!

As time went on, lack of success at work, in school, in relationships, along with every form of evil and destructive behavior could be traced to low self-esteem. So the agenda in education, counseling and parenting became driven by the goal of encouraging self-esteem and self-love.

It is not unreasonable for parents, educators and counselors to see some connections between one’s view of oneself and other issues in life. Building healthy self-respect and confidence is not necessarily a bad thing if built on the right foundation.  But those of us familiar with what the Bible teaches (and the reality of life) have good reasons to be hesitant about overstatements on self-image, self-love and self-esteem.

Is self-love mandated in Scripture?

Scripture assumes that we love ourselves when it says, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39) or “husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated his own body, but feeds and cares for it” (Ephesians 5:28-29).

The mistake some interpreters make is to misread these passages to suggest that they mandate self-love. Instead, they assume the reality of self-love and mandate love for others. And, if anything, scripture warns about the dangers of self-love and the need to put limits on self-esteem.

Consider 2 Timothy 3:1-4:

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.”

The “terrible times” in the “last days” are partly due to what could be called “misplaced love. Notice where love is directed:

verse 2 – lovers of themselves

verse 2 – lovers of money

verse 4 – lovers of pleasure

verse 4 – rather than lovers of God

Along with this, people become:

verse 2 – boastful, proud and ungrateful

verse 4 – conceited

These traits are considered dangerous. They are part of the degeneration of wholesome society.

A clear warning:

In 1 Timothy 3:6, there is a direct warning about dangers related to self-esteem. It warns against allowing a new believer to be an elder/leader in the Church: “He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil.”

Conceit is best defined in Romans 12:3-  “…I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment…” This offers an important word against unrestrained self-esteem.  “Think of yourself with sober judgment” –realistically and honestly—but with humility (Cf. 2 Corinthians 12:7).

Would it be wrong to encourage someone to have confidence in himself or  to have a little self-respect? No! But these statements shouldn’t be taken too far (Consider Luke 18:9-14 with Luke 15:18-19).

Old Testament examples:

Moses (Exodus 4:10-11; 3:11)

Gideon (Judges 6:15)

Isaiah (Isaiah 6:5)

Amos (Amos 7:14-15)

Job (Job 42:6)

Nebuchadnezzar (Daniel 4:28-37)

New Testament examples:

Peter (Luke 5:8; 22:31-34)

Paul (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

John the Baptist (Luke 3:16)

Philippians 2:3-5 offers needed perspective:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

Kingdom thinking:

The key: We must get a kingdom of Christ understanding of life and of ourselves. Reflect on Luke 22:24-27:

“Also a dispute arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. 25 Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. 26 But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. 27 For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.

Consider the following contrast.

Self-Image Advocates Say:	God’s Kingdom Calls Us To:
1. Love Yourself	Love God and others (Matthew 22:37)
2. Build your self-esteem	Build up others (Hebrews 10:24-25)
3. You are good	None righteous (Romans 3:23)
4. Believe in yourself	Heart is deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9)
5. Put yourself first	Put others first (Philippians 2:1-4)
6. Think highly of yourself	Be humble (Romans 12:3)
7. You are of great value	We are sinners (Romans 3:10-11)
8. Do what you want to do	Walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:16)
9. Find yourself	Deny yourself (Matthew 16:24-26)
10. Have self-confidence	Put confidence in God (Philippians 4:13)

Final Thought:

Even the death of Christ for our sins was not offered because we were wonderful, lovable people (Romans 5:8, Titus 3:5, Ephesians 2:8-9).  So while there is a partial truth about the need for self-respect, there is a greater danger in conceit and pride.

See: http://thinkpoint.wordpress.com/2008/04/23/pride-should-it-be-removed-from-the-seven-deadly-sins/

Pride: Should it be removed from the seven deadly sins?

Eight Reasons Jon and Kate need a structured separation

Jon and Kate Gosselin, stars of the hit reality show Jon & Kate Plus Eight, announced to the world that they will separate from each other. Irreconcilable differences seem to have driven them apart. And I am sure it doesn’t help that their lives are played out for all to see.

Unfortunately, by the time couples reach this point they’re barely cordial toward each other. The basic good-will afforded to strangers is absent from their relationships. This sets up a scenario which almost always makes divorce inevitable. Once separated, it’s possible that they’ll miss the other person but it’s more likely that they will feel relieved and begin to enjoy life without the other. This makes the possibility of reconciliation even more unlikely. In the case of the Gosselins, their will be eight big losers if they remain on their path toward divorce.

Is divorce the only option for those who endure the unhappiness of a failing marriage? I don’t believe it is. But if the Gossleins think it is, they should recognize that while obtaining a divorce is relatively easy, it almost always results in an emotional bombshell. No matter how much anticipated, divorce is more painful and complicated than imagined. On a personal level, divorce often shatters self-confidence and leads to guilt, anger and insecurity. Socially, it complicates interpersonal relationships — especially when children are involved. Financially, it’s usually a lose-lose arrangement.

Don’t be fooled. Divorce is never an easy solution to a troubled marriage. And, if divorce is difficult for marriage partners, it is far worse for children caught in the middle. If you doubt this, read Judith S. Wallerstein’s landmark book, “The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study”. After reading this book, Jon and Kate will have eight very personal and precious reasons to follow my advice: Cara, Madelyn, Alexis, Aaden, Collin, Leah, Hannah and Joel.

Now I recognize that in some cases marital separation is necessary. This is especially true where a pattern of abuse exists. I have observed this in relation to substance abuse, severe financial irresponsibility, unending emotional and/or verbal abuse, psychological breakdown and abrogation of marital commitments. Each case has its own circumstances and degree of severity. Sometimes separation is also necessary to cause a mate to recognize his or her destructive dysfunctional behavior.



In my years of experience, I’ve learned that it takes wisdom to discern the whole truth about the condition of a marriage. In most cases, meetings with both parties separately and together are essential. This takes time—something those in crisis don’t feel they have. But marital demise usually involves extended patterns of neglect and alienation– intertwined with self-deception and selfish behavior. This fact, along with the high levels of emotional, physical and mental exhaustion, makes the road to reconciliation difficult but worthwhile.

Counselors must be aware of patterns of deceit and selfishness that often color individual perspectives on failing marriages. Seeking the truth requires time, patience and wisdom. When Couples are in a crisis mode, they often expect help and answers immediately. Sometimes crisis intervention must come first. But counselors must not be drawn into hasty reactions or conclusions based on the desperate state of a marriage.

When martial separation becomes necessary, I prefer to apply a structured separation and I believe the Gosselins have eight compelling reasons to consider this. A structured separation should involve seven components.

1. A specific purpose statement for separation related to the problems in the marriage. This could also include a signed covenant.


2.  A set of specific and measurable goals.

3.  A projected time frame that does not allow for indefinite separation.

4. A study on themes of forgiveness and reconciliation.

5. Reading “Hope for the Separated” by Gary Chapman

6. A built in accountability with Church leaders and/or a counselor/mentor.

7. A small support team to pray for the marriage and offer tangible help.

See also: http://thinkpoint.wordpress.com/2007/07/28/forgiveness-is-one-thing-reconciliation-is-another/

Steve Cornell
Senior pastor
Millersville Bible Church
58 West Frederick Street
Millersville, PA 17551

s.cornell@millersvillebiblechurch.org

717-872-4260