Does unity sand offer a better picture of marriage?

In 27 years of ministry, I’ve done a lot of weddings. Most of them included a Unity Candle Ceremony. I’ve done these so many times, I think I could recite the words in my sleep!

The two candles up here represent the lives of                and                                 As a symbol of the commitments that they have just made, they will each take a candle and light the center one.

After this, they extinguish their own candles, allowing the center one to represent the union of their lives as one flesh.

 To bring joy and happiness to their home there must be the merging of these two lights into one.

 This is what our Lord meant when He said, “On this account a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife; and the two shall be one flesh.”: “Consequently,” Jesus said, “they are no longer two but one.”

As this one light cannot be divided, neither shall their lives be divided, but be a testimony to their unity in the Lord Jesus Christ.

In a recent wedding, the couple replaced the unity candle with a Unity Sand Ceremony. Since I had never guided (nor witnessed) this before, I had to give some thought to what it symbolized and what I would say.

Like the two candles, the two containers of sand with their different colors represent the lives of the bride and groom. When they each take their sand and take turns pouring their different colored sand into the center vase, the flowing sand and blending colors symbolize the uniting of two lives into one. When it’s finished, the remaining container is a beautiful picture of the blending of two lives. The couple can carry this with them and display it as a reminder of the uniqueness each one brings to the marriage. 

I’ve been thinking about that ceremony for a while and I believe it offers a better and needed vision of marriage — particularly among Christians. It reflects the original plan in better ways than the candle ceremony. 

Revisit the original plan:

When God created the first man, He recognized something incomplete, and said, 

“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18, NIV). 

“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him” (NLT).

God then created the first woman and brought her to the man as a divine gift of completion. At this point in the narrative, the human author of Genesis pens words that Jesus later attributed to divine origin:

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; cf. Matthew 19:4-6). 

Clearly both the man and the woman were created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). God also gave them co-regency over the subhuman order (Genesis 1:28).

Since the first man was incomplete without the woman, she evidently brought special qualities to their relationship that must not be allowed to disappear. If a husband behaves toward his wife in a way that causes her to disappear into himself, he threatens the complimentary intention of the Creator. He hurts himself and his wife.

Back to the sand ceremnoy:

Perhaps when a husband observes the sand that represents his wife’s life blended with the sand representing his life, he will be visually reminded of how much she brings to their relationship. He can also notice how much better it looks when her life is an evident part of the blended beauty of their marriage.

Some men use Christian teachings about headship and submission to diminish the uniqueness and contributions of their wives to the marriage. They insist that life conforms to their dominant identity so they can get what they want. 

I’ve also observed women who suppress their identity under more dominant men who frankly need the gifts and strengths of their wives. These women also entertain misguided understandings of headship and submission. Trying to be “the submissive Christian wife,” these women violate the original design by not being the complementary completion to men who badly need the unique blended beauty of their wives. 

The original plan assumes the necessity of individuality and uniqueness in both husbands and wives for the completion of their oneness. The unity sand offers a nice picture of two becoming one — without one disappearing in the other.

I fully realize that as sinners we all must resist the temptation of selfishly demanding our own way in relationships — especially one with the closeness of marriage. After 28 years of marriage, I also understand the tensions of give and take and how two people must be willing to honor to each other above themselves. But whatever else oneness is meant to be, it’s not the disappearance of either part into the other but the merging of the uniqueness of each into one.

This truth has another side to it. Marriages rarely fail without some pattern of neglect involved. If each person is important to the strength of a marriage, each one must be diligent to bring the beauty of their uniqueness and gifts to the relationship. I realize that it takes two for marriage to be what it is meant to be, but when one is trying and the other is not, a breakdown is inevitable.

Challenge to leaders and others:

Discuss this perspective on marriage with married couples to discover living illustrations of how it works in the flow of life. Explore ways in which our approaches to communication and conflict resolution honor or dishonor this original plan?

Let’s call husbands and wives to understand and practice the Creator’s design for marriage. If you teach or lead a group involving married couples, consider using the unity sand as a visual for revisiting and discussing the original design for marriage. 

Steve Cornell

Waves of discouragement and providential prayers

Last night, I battled an incredible wave of discouragement. In my work, it can seem to come out of nowhere and catch me off guard. I am called so often to pour myself out for others and, when these dark times come, I find myself asking, “Who encourages those called to be an encourager?” I have found only two effective remedies for these experiences:

1. Prayer based on Psalm 62:8 and Hebrews 4:14-16 and
2. Sleep — deep sleep.

Gratefully, these remedies prepare me to walk in God’s strength and joy the next day.

But it’s not unusual during these times for me to feel strongly burden to pray for certain people. Last night, providentially, I felt deeply compelled to pray for the Hassel family. What I did not realize at the time is that today, five years ago, my dear friend, Dr. Mark Hassel was called to leave this earth and enter glory. At an unimaginable young age and at the peak of a successful medical career, Mark ended a courageous battled with cancer leaving behind a wife and three precious children. I wrote about his story here and here.

Mark was an inspiring person. At the memorial gathering for his life, I summarized the way Mark lived with 7 vignettes that continue to inspire me each time I revisit them. 

1. Live Fully (Colossians 3:23)
2. Laugh often (Proverbs 17:22)
3. Love creation (Psalm 19:1)
4. Serve others (Galatians 5:13)
5. Suffer courageously (James 1:12)
6. Be faithful (Matthew 25:23)
7. Love God (Matthew 22:37-39)

Today, I closed a letter to Mark’s wife with these words:

“Missing my dear friend, Mark. Yet anticipating with even greater clarity a reunion in a place where there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain.”

Just an under-shepherd of the Chief Shepherd serving by the strength of His grace,

Steve Cornell

Fashionable to talk about God?

“The cold logic of mid-twentieth century atheism has now given way to an era of renewed ‘spirituality,’ but it is an awakening more therapeutic than pious, more attuned to self-expression than self-denial. It is now fashionable to talk about God, though it is still deeply unfashionable to believe in him. Yes, Americans are a religious people, but we embrace religious beliefs in the same way we adopt preferences for certain brands of product. The commitments are deeply personal without necessarily being deeply held. Our convictions are about identity, not reality. They suggest who we want to be rather than what we believe is true.”

~ J. Mark Bertrand, (Re)Thinking Worldview (Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway Books, 2007), 57.

When I was made in the secret place

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”  (Psalm 139:13-16) 

Audio message

Psalm 139  offers a reassuring statement of God’s sovereignty over life. The Psalm unfolds in a way centered on God’s character and activity.

1. God is all-knowing  (omniscience) 1-6

•   God’s knowledge covers one’s posture, thoughts ways and words
•   God’s knowledge is expressed with a series of verbs: God searches, knows, perceives, discerns and is familiar with…

2. God is all-present  (omnipresent) 7-12

•   God’s presence is so pervasive that there are no escape routes or hiding places

3. God is all-powerful  (omnipotent) 13-18

• God not only knows and is present, He’s the Creator.
• The development of the embryo in the womb is ascribed to God
• This is not Mother Nature mysteriously at work.

Think about it:

One of the reasons this psalm has endeared itself to the hearts of so many is that it presents — God as one who is near and intimately knowledgeable of our lives.

He is presented as the author of life – as the one who fashions life in the womb and ordains the number of days planned for us.

• This resonates with us because it tags into a deeper innate sense that we are here by design and not by accident.
• This connects with a deeper sense that we come from a personal Creator not an impersonal process of evolution tracing back to some chance collision of the forces of undirected energy.
  • Our moral impulse as humans cries out for a source of morality.
  • Our desire for purpose and meaning cries out for a point of reference and a destiny.
  • Our affections themselves (loves and passions) demand deeper connections than some impersonal primordial ooze.
• Here is a Psalm that offers an all-knowing, all-present and all-powerful Creator!
• Here is a God who is intimate, involved, tender and inescapable!
• Here is knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain!

“How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!”

But all of these truths invoke a sense of consternation or concern, leading the psalmist to cry out: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me”

The truths of this psalm do not exist in an ethereal vacuum. They must be understood in complexity of life in a fallen world — a world where a good bit looks like it is without the markings of God’s providence and will.

We study this psalm not in theory but in a world where the name of God is not honored, His Kingdom has not yet come and His will is not being done on earth as it is in heaven!

In such a world, some babies don’t make it out of the womb; some are at risk of what we call imperfections – appearing not to have been fashioned by a perfect loving Creator.

In this world, some of the days ordained for me are painfully difficult days — many of them. How does this all-knowing, all-present and all-powerful Creator relate to a broken world full of sadness and evil?

There is a reason why we must end such a psalm with “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me”

____________________________________________________________

After contemplating God’s detailed knowledge of his life, the psalmist broke into:

• A burst of praise: (6) “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.” (cf. Romans 11:33 - “Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!”)
• A word of trust in God’s care:  (9-10) “If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” (cf. Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.)
• An expression of endearment: (17-18) “How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! 
How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.”
• A prayer of invitation: (23-24) “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

___________________________________________________________

Connecting themes together:

• Psalm 139:13  “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”
• Jeremiah 1:5 – God’s word to Jeremiah “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
• Exodus 4:10-11 – Sanctity in the quality of life “Moses said to the Lord, ‘O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.’ The Lord said to him, ‘Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord?’”

_______________________________________________________________

• More than the “product” of conception  It’s an indisputable fact of science that the life of the fetus is more than a “product” of conception. The occupant of the womb is a human life with the potential of becoming a mature human being. Abortion does not simply terminate a pregnancy; it terminates the life of a baby. If you have children, look closely at them and remind yourself that had you chosen to abort them (at any point from conception to birth), you would have ended their lives. This is beyond dispute. Induced abortion is the deliberate destruction of an unborn child.

Fearfully and wonderfully made but frail and woefully fallen;

v.14 – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Psalm 103:13-16  “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.”

“What if you don’t feel like you are “fearfully and wonderfully made”? What if your body is ravaged by cancer, plagued by infertility or frequent pregnancy loss, or succumbing to an incurable illness? What if your child’s development is slowed or disabled? While we cling to the fact that God is the creator of life, not every life comes out physically perfect. Can we trust that Psalm 139 includes these people, too?

Psalm 139 indicates the Creator regards all human beings as valuable. God cares about the intricate details of our formation. Using poetical language, the psalm depicts God knitting us together, orchestrating every chromosome in our genetic makeup. He gave us his image, making us unlike any other creatures in his creation (Gen. 1:27). This was true before the Fall and remains true even after our demise into sin.

Jesus is the most amazing example of perfectly living out this perspective on mankind. In his earthly ministry he often healed the outcasts and despised. Even the Law prohibited touching many of them (Lev. 13-15). But Jesus went to them. He touched them, making himself ceremonially unclean, healing them both physically and spiritually. Jesus viewed all people, regardless of their condition, as valuable image-bearers. In fact, as the Creator he created them and watched over their development from the earliest stages (Col. 1:16). When we minister to people who are broken both physically and spiritually, we can do so with the same heart as our Savior.

Hope for the Future

I don’t know why God creates some people with sound minds and others without. I don’t know why he gives some women fruitful wombs, while others try for years to no avail. I don’t know why some people fight cancer for years and lose the battle, while others are cured after treatment. And I don’t think we are meant to know, at least in this life.

When Jesus healed a man born blind, he turned the disciples’ thoughts on their heads by not only healing the man but also explaining that his blindness was so God would get glory in his life (John 9:1-3). So there is a purpose to our suffering and our physical brokenness—so that the works of God might be displayed in our fragile lives. What was destroyed by the fall of man will one day be restored when Christ makes all things new. When he inaugurated his kingdom all those years ago he was showing in his earthly ministry what will one day be true of all who are found in him. Revelation 21:4-5 is a beautiful picture of what is to come: tears will be no more, death and sin will be finally conquered, and all things will be made new. That means you.

Jesus’ healing of the broken, despised, and rejected foreshadowed the final redemption that believers will see one day. He secured this blessed redemption by becoming the most unclean person of all on the Cross. He identifies with your brokenness, pain, and isolation. Not only do you have a hope for future healing in the next life, but you also have a comforting Savior for this life (Isa. 53:4).

So while some are given the devastating charge of walking through this life more physically broken than the rest, we can trust that this life is not the end of the story. We have a hope for the future that was paid for by the Savior. The only hope for the suffering and broken person is to cling to Jesus, the one who can cleanse us of our sins and give us a future and a final resting place.

Regardless of your physical or mental status, you are fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who loves you deeply. He created you in his image. Your life is not a mistake. It is a gift. And Psalm 139 has your name on it.” (Courtney Reissig) 

Steve Cornell

Watch this: Choose Life

My appeal to President Obama

On the third Sunday in January, Churches throughout our nation observe “Sanctity of Human Life Sunday.” They do this partly to protest against the 1973 Supreme Court decision (Roe vs. Wade) which legalized abortion on demand. But they are also positively endorsing the sanctity of human life.

Recognizing that God made humans in His own image (Gen. 9:6), these Churches take seriously the words of our Declaration of Independence,

“… all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

This view assumes the simple truth that the life of a fetus is more than a “product” of conception. The occupant of a mother’s womb is a human life with the potential of becoming a mature human being. A decision for abortion is not only a choice to terminate a pregnancy; it’s equally a choice to terminate the life of a baby. Induced abortion is the deliberate destruction of an unborn child. We know far too much to deceive ourselves about this or to politicize it. 

Appeal to the President:

When President Obama was elected, I wrote a piece congratulating him and expressing my hope for change. I included the following: 

“With the election of Barack Obama as 44th president of the USA, it pleases me deeply that we have moved even further from some of the saddest days of American history. The wrongful treatment of African-Americans during the evil days of slavery must never be repeated. But another group of vulnerable citizens has received far worse treatment. Will the new President’s policies further the horrors unleashed upon this group? Or, will he stand in a great tradition of those who (against all odds and pressure) oppose oppression and violence?

Will our new President help the helpless? Will he hear the cries of the most precious and vulnerable citizens? Or, will he cower to the pressures of popularity and political expedience? The unborn babies living in their mothers’ wombs need a President who values their lives. Will he refuse to support any policies aimed at their destruction? Will this president say, “Never again!”? Or, will he increase the horrific systematic destruction of the unborn? Will he deny their personhood and let them die brutally at the hands of “professionals”? Or, will he say, “Enough is enough!”?

Other articles:

1. Are Christians Obsessed With Gays and Abortion?
2. Why don’t atheists oppose abortion?
3. Mugged by Ultrasound
4. True health care for all women
5. Inalienable Freedom of Choice: the god of this age
6. Sanctity even in the quality of human life?
7. Role of Government in responding to right and wrong

Steve Cornell

* My title for my message this Sunday: “When I was made in the secret place” (Psalm 139:13-16)

Does Proverbs promise too much?

Can the promises in the Old Testament book of Proverbs be taken seriously?  Someone suggested that, “many cannot take the book seriously because its promises seem removed from the harsh realities of their experiences.”

One proverb promises that, “He who hates ill-gotten gain will enjoy a long life” (Proverbs 1:19). Others promise protection, prosperity, safety, life at ease, and health to those who choose a path of wisdom and obedience (Proverbs 1:32-33; 3:1-2, 7-8, 9-10).

Do all who follow the path of wisdom enjoy these benefits? “The righteous” we are told, “is delivered from trouble, but the wicked takes his place” (Proverbs 11:8). Should we expect this for all righteous people? How would it apply to what we call heroes of faith noted in Hebrews 11?

A well-known proverb offers the promise, “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).  Many parents have understood this as an absolute promise. But does it always turn out this way?

How should we understand Proverbs 16:3, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed”? This appears to be an iron-clad assurance of success for those who dedicate their plans to God.

“People who reason that way can be disappointed. They can dedicate some perfectly selfish or idiotic scheme to God, and then if it happens to succeed, even briefly, they can assume that God blessed it. A hasty marriage, a rash business decision, an ill-thought-out vocational decision — all can be dedicated to God but can eventually result in misery. Or, a person might commit a plan to God only to have it fail; then the person would wonder why God did not keep his promise, why he went back on his inspired Word” (Gordon Fee, How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth).           

Do the Biblical proverbs promise too much? How can this apparent tension be resolved?  Four guidelines will help avoid wrong applications when interpreting and applying the proverbs.

First, it should be noted the proverbs are brief, poetic statements of truth– written for easy recall. They are not intended as completed statements on the subjects they cover.  “By their very nature,” one has written, “they are partial utterances which cannot protect themselves by qualifications.”

“No proverb is so perfectly worded that it can stand up to the unreasonable demand that it apply in every situation at every time.  The more briefly and parabolically a parable is stated, the more common sense and good judgment are needed to interpret it properly — but the more effective and memorable it is. They do not state everything about truth but they point toward it. They are, taken literally, often technically inexact. But as learnable guidelines for the shaping of selected behavior they are unsurpassed … the proverb is not a categorical, always applicable, ironclad promise, but a more general truth; it teaches that lives committed to God and lived according to his will succeed according to God’s definition of success.” (Fee)

Secondly, individual proverbs must be understood in the context of the whole book (and the rest of scripture). The larger context of Proverbs reveals that the instruction is primarily directed to children and youth. Proverbs is a father’s (and implicitly a mother’s) instruction to sons. It is presented to equip them for avoiding specific threats to wise and prosperous living.

The Proverbs warn young people about specific lifestyles. The ways of fools– whether the sexually immoral, sluggards, drunkards, hot-tempered individuals, scoffers, the contentious or violent— do not result in abundant life and peace.  Individual proverbs must be considered in light of this primary audience, and the father’s concerns for shaping selected behaviors.

“It is neither selfish nor unrealistic for a parent to wish a child a reasonable level of success in life — including social acceptance, freedom from want, and moral uprightness. Proverbs provides a collection of pithy, advisory statements designed to do just that. There is no guarantee, of course, that a life will always go well for a young person. What Proverbs does say is that, all things being equal, there are basic attitudes and patterns of behavior that will help a person grow into responsible adulthood.” (Fee)

Thirdly, we must read the proverbs as a whole collection. For example, the proverbs promising material prosperity for those who chose wisdom and the fear of the Lord must be understood in the context of “better-than” proverbs (see Proverbs 15:16-17; 16:8, 19; 17:1; 19:22b; 25:24; 28:6). These proverbs place an important limit on material prosperity. In such proverbs, we learn that it is possible to be poor and blessed, or oppressed and wise. By reading the proverbs collectively we will find that they offer a balanced outlook on life.

Finally, Many proverbs are not always immediately validated. Because the proverbs are based on observation (24:32), they in essence say, “Experience validates that certain negative character traits/actions lead to negative consequences and these other good character traits/actions lead to good and prosperous consequences.” Yet as the “better than proverbs” reveal, life under the sun does not always vindicate the observations. The book acknowledges that there are exceptions. The exceptions, however, are only temporary because the end (in God’s final judgment) will bring a grand reversal to the wrongs of this life (see: Proverbs 11:7; 14:12).

When each proverb is considered in light of these guidelines, readers will be safeguarded from the thought that Proverbs promises too much.

Steve Cornell

Senior Pastor,

Millersville Bible Church

To help you keep perspective (see offer)

Have you ever lost perspective? This happens when we lose sight of the big picture or even some important details of the small picture. 

When faced with trials or setbacks, we can find ourselves struggling to keep a good perspective. Discouragement is another threat to perspective. One has suggested that, “Despondency has a way of selectively focusing on certain aspects of life and conveniently overlooking others. Despair is always colorblind; it can only see the dark tints” (David A. Hubbard).

Maybe your outlook on life has become dark, complacent or angry. Perhaps the colors of life have lost their strength. Perhaps some dreams have not been fulfilled and the routine of life feels horribly monotonous and without deeper meaning. We must be acknowledge that this kind of mindset can easily lead to trouble. 

When we start looking at things the wrong way, a caring friend might say, “You need to get perspective.” Or, “You really need to change the way you’re seeing things.” When counseling others, it’s not unusual for me to say, “Let’s put this in perspective.” How do we keep the right perspective?

In perspective-testing times, we have to decide how to look at life. So much of life is affected by how we view it—by our outlook; by the way we construe things. Attitude (which is vital to life) is especially related with perspective.

How to keep the right perspective:

I am suggesting that all of Scripture was given for perspective formation. Scripture lifts us out of the horizontal and connects with the vertical. It stretches beyond the temporal to the eternal. It calls us away from the mire of a self-centered living into the joy of a God-centered life of love.

Each day we need to consider ways of thinking that counter-veil destructive and sinful perspectives. This is the role the Bible fulfills! None of the Bible was written to us but it was all written for us. Although it was communicated in a context of culture and history different from our own, it contains truths that transcend culture and history and speak with powerful engagement to all people in all places at all times.

While one might have little interest in the city of Corinth and  the people who lived their 2000 years ago, when the apostle wrote his two letters we call First and Second Corinthians, he included amazing truths that have perspective forming implications for all people.  

Example: What kind of perspective forming applications can we get from these words?

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (II Corinthians 1:3-4)

As we read about many of the ways the apostles understood God’s activity in and through their lives, we gain immediate perspective in thinking correctly about God’s work in our lives.

This truth could change the way you approach your Bible. Why is a daily reading of Scripture so important? Because we so easily lose perspective and lock our minds on horizontal, temporal and self-centered ways of seeing things. 

An offer:

To help people see life from God’s perspective, a few years ago, I complied a two month devotional titled, Meeting God in His Word. The daily readings include one to three verses of Scriptures that I’ve returned to repeatedly in my life.

Example of how the guide works: based on (but not limited to) a 15 minute daily plan

Step 1 – Five minutes of praise and giving thanks

It is right to enter God’s presence with praise and thankfulness. We honor God by declaring His greatness: “Father in heaven, your name is exalted, and you are worthy of praise. Today, I praise you because you are the only true God. I specifically praise you because of your _____chosen attribute for the day____.            

• Love: sacrificial giving for me and my salvation
• Mercy: withholding the judgment I deserve
• Grace: goodness to those who only deserve judgment.
• Patience: bearing with disobedient creatures like me
• Kindness: thoughtful actions for my good
• Faithfulness: loyalty and trustworthiness
• Holiness: complete uniqueness and separation from sin
• Power: ability to do all things
•  Salvation: provider of forgiveness for my sins
•  Sovereignty: absolute authority and rule over your creation”

“I praise you that you have accomplished my salvation through my Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Through Jesus alone, I come to you. He is the way, the truth and the life. He is your gift of love to me (an unworthy sinner). I thank you that through Jesus I have been:

•  Forgiven of my sins
•  Justified in your sight
•  Reconciled to you
•  Given the Holy Spirit who lives in me
•  Joined with the body of Christ, the Church
•  Assured a home in heaven”

Prayer: “I acknowledge that apart from Jesus as my Savior, I am unworthy of you and your gifts of love. I need you to teach me how to live a life that pleases you. I ask you to open my eyes to see and my ears to hear as I enter your Word. I humbly ask you to use your Word in my life to change me more into the likeness of Jesus Christ.”

Step 2 – Five minutes…in the Word

John 14:1-3 “Don’t be troubled. You trust God, now trust in me. ² There are many rooms in my Father’s home, and I am going to prepare a place for you. If this were not so, I would tell you plainly. ³ When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.” 

Underline the words and phrases that make connections with your life. Re-read the verses several times and pause to think about the words and phrases you underlined. Think about ways that these words connect with your walk with God.

Step 3 – The final five minutes… responding to God

Talk to God about the connections you’re making in the words and phrases you’ve underlined. Perhaps one or two key ideas will especially speak to you. In the passage above, we could talk to God about our tendency to be troubled or our need to grow in trust. We could also thank God for giving us assurance for our future. We could tell him how much we look forward to being in that place Jesus is preparing for us. Finally, through this Scripture, we could express our longing to always be with our Savior.   

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The premise of what I am saying is summarized well in II Timothy 3:16: 

“All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to:

1. teach us what is true
2. to make us realize what is wrong in our lives.
3. It corrects us when we are wrong
4. teaches us to do what is right.

The constant challenge of losing perspective must be met with daily perspective forming sessions with God. Each day, we need a Hebrews 4:12 and Hebrews 4:16 encounter with God. (Look them up)

Question:

What Scriptures has God recently used in your life to help you keep a godly perspective?

Purchasing a copy of Meeting God in His Word:

If you would like a copy of Meeting God in His Word, contact me at

s.cornell@millersvillebiblechurch.org with your mailing address. 

It is an excellent tool for small groups, couples and individuals. The second volume is almost completed. We charge $ 6.00 per copy to cover costs of production and shipping. Each copy is 5×7, seventy pages and nicely spiral bound for easy use. The verses are included for each day along with space to write your thoughts. I also included a few additional resources for digging deeper into Scripture.  We will enclose a bill with the shipment on a good faith basis. 

Steve Cornell

Words are windows into hearts

When things go wrong in relationships, we can almost always be sure that people are talking in unhelpful or even harmful ways. This is one reason why it’s important to do a personal inventory about the way we use our words.

For those who lead the Church, teaching people the right ways to speak to one another (and to speak about one another) is essential to preserving the unity of Christian fellowship. Believers are called to “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3).  Some of the most destructive forces threatening this unity are related to speech.

The first practical problem faced by the early Church involved verbal complaints.

“But as the believers rapidly multiplied, there were rumblings of discontent. The Greek-speaking believers complained about the Hebrew-speaking believers, saying that their widows were being discriminated against in the daily distribution of food” (Acts 6:1, NLT).

One of the earliest letters to New Testament believers has much to say about speech. Evidently there was a significant problem because in the first chapter we read,

“If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless” (James 1:26, NIV).

Think of the possible things that could have been said in the second part of the verse: “If you claim to be religious but… do not go to Church, do not read your Bible, do not pray, etc… These are important parts of living a godly life but I am not sure many would have expected to read: “If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue…” 

Restraint and Reflection:

A little before this, we read about the need to “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19, NIV). Restraint and reflection are virtues when it comes to speech. And of course, those familiar with the book of James know the focus given to the tongue in chapter three. There we learn about the power and potential of the tongue. There we learn about the difficulty of taming the tongue. There we learn about the importance of reigning in that powerful little muscle. There we learn that the discipline of reigning in our speech (words and tones) could help us bring needed discipline in other areas of lives.

Out of the heart:

Jesus takes matters to a deeper level in teaching that our words reveal our hearts.  “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:35). An example of this in the Old Testament comes from the life of Joseph and his brothers. 

 “Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age. So one day Jacob had a special gift made for Joseph—a beautiful robe. But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them. They couldn’t say a kind word to him” (Gen. 37:3-4).

It’s not at all surprising that people with hearts full of hatred find it impossible to speak kind words. And this connection between heart and speech should encourage us to look for heart conditions behind the ways people speak. Our speech (way of talking) is a window into what’s happening in our hearts. Words are windows to the heart. So our way of talking could be a warning sign of the need for inner transformation.

We should also look closely at the ways of speaking passed on to us from our family backgrounds. If you grew up in a home with lots of yelling,  don’t be surprised if you default to the same way of speaking. 

A helpful exercise:

Discuss the possible heart issues behind each of the forbidden ways of speech listed below. Then look closely at the list of 12 tones of voice and discuss the possible heart conditions behind each one. Attach specific Scriptures to counter each tone of voice and the possible heart conditions behind them.

Forbidden speech:

1.   Lying (Ephesians 4:25; I Peter 3:10; Psalm 34:13)
2.   Slander (Titus 3:2; James 4:11)
3.   Gossip: (Proverbs 6:16-19; 11:13; 16:28)
4.   Complaining: (Philippians 2:14; Jude 16)
5.   Vengeful words (I Peter 2:23; Romans 12:17-19)
6.   Malicious or hurtful words (Ephesians 4:31-32)
7.   Angry words (Ephesians 4:31-32)
8.   Hasty words (James 1:19; Ecclesiastes 3:7)
9.   Flattery (Proverbs 24:26-28; 29:5; Rom. 16:18)
10. Cursing people (James 3:7-10)
11.  Boasting (I Corinthians 13:4-8)

Watch that tone:

Tone of voice can make a big difference in communication. True words spoken with wrong tones are often self-defeating in their aim. Scripture says, “Speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).

Although I would never argue for a single-tone as a Christian way of speaking, some tones are clearly unacceptable. Some tones are destructive to good relationships and some even misrepresent and dishonor God.  

1.  Condescending
2.  Bossy
3.  Angry
4.  Snobby
5.  Frustrated
6.  Impatient
7.  Defensive
8.  Moody
9.  Distant
10. Disrespectful
11. Dark
12. Whining

Required speech:

One of the best ways to change our speech patterns is to replace inappropriate ways of talking with godly speech. An obvious example would be to replace gossip or slander with  positive words about others. Words of thanks and kind words of encouragement are excellent alternatives to many of the wrongful ways of speaking (Ephesians 4:32; 5:18-21). Praising for God (Hebrews 13:15) is a potent form of speech that can set a clear tone for the rest of life. Those in authority who must confront, correct and punish others are also commanded to affirm those who do good (see: I Peter 2:13-14).

E429:

Use the formula E429 to remind yourself and each other of God’s will for our speech. This stands for Ephesians 4:29 which says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Steve Cornell

“Let all that you do be done in love.” (I Corinthains 16:14

Audio link: Out of the Heart, the Mouth Speaks

Ministry with grace and truth

Our world is a broken place filled with broken people. As a pastor, I often get a front row seat to this brokenness. I am often called to walk with others through deeply personal pain. Gratefully, I’ve even been able to help some find their way through their trials to stronger days. But at times I feel inadequate to minister to others in their pain. It’s only God who gives me grace to persevere and wisdom to counsel. Sometimes my counsel is in the form of encouragement; sometimes admonishment. Sometimes I have to tell people things they don’t want to hear.

My goal in ministering to others is to follow the example of Jesus Christ. When Jesus came into the world, he was “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). Sometimes we tend to exalt grace at the expense of truth or truth over grace. We need to exhibit both. In Jesus ministry, he directed hard-hitting truth at the self-righteous and hypocritical religious people. He offered large amounts of grace to the outcast and rejected. Grace was available to the others but they saw no need for it.

I know that being truthful (especially based on Scripture) always puts one at risk of being misunderstood. I accept this even if I do not find it pleasant. The truth is hard to hear at times. It even hurts to hear it when it confronts our wayward lives. I will always work harder at being full of grace but not at the expense of truth.

The larger debate seems to settle on how one can know truth—especially truth from God. I look to the Bible for truth about life and death, God and humanity, morality and meaning. I believe the Bible is reliable to guide us in the most important matters we face. I take the bible literally unless obvious literary elements require a different reading. In most cases, the plain sense of Scripture is easily ascertained and should be followed.

God chose the means of written truth to preserve his word for humanity (see: II Timothy 3:16-17). The preservation and pervasive influence of the bible is staggering to consider. Jesus himself repeatedly demonstrated complete reliance on scripture (see: Matthew 4:1-11). Without the Bible our thoughts about God and His will are reduced to subjective feelings and opinions.

The Bible contains truths that transcend historical and cultural boundaries speaking to humanity with univocal authority. This is true because of the divine origin of Scripture. Clearly the bible is a human product but it is equally from God (see: II Peter 1:20-21).

To escape the truths of the Bible, some try desperately to mock it for a few obscure passages that are hard to understand. Others relegate it to the hopeless confusion of conflicting interpretation. But most of the Bible is clear enough to get the message. Rejection of that message says more about us than it does the bible.

Steve Cornell

The Justification-Sanctification debate

Some prominent bloggers have been debating the relationship between justification and sanctification. I have suggested that part of the confusion comes when we separate what God has joined.

Salvation is experienced sequentially in three dimensions but must always be understood (with deep gratitude) as one completed act of God for undeserving, helpless, powerless, ungodly sinners who are God’s enemies (Romans 5).

The apostle Paul explained it as five completed divine actions for sinners (who could not have participated in any of them in any way).

God:

1. Foreknew: (us) (Προεγνω)
2. Predestined: (us) (Προωρισεν)
3. Called: (us) (Εκαλεσεν)
4. Justified: (us) (Εδικαιωσεν)
5. Glorified: (us) (εδοξασεν)

Some of the tension seems to come from the fact that this one-time-gift received from God by grace (Romans 8:29-30) permanently unites us to God in Christ but is experienced sequentially.

Everything is based on redemption accomplished in Christ — but we live now with an eager expectation of the final redemption of our bodies (Romans 8; Philippians 1:6; 3:20-21). The three dimensions of “Already, In between and Not yet” are real – so real that we groan while we wait. Yet we must be careful not to divide what God has united. As we understand the three dimensions together, waiting and groaning are offset with patience and hope (Romans 8).

The gospel reminds us that we are undeserving recipients of everything yet we’re called to be active participants during the “not yet.” And even as we “continue to work out our salvation with fear and trembling,” this must be done (can only be done) based on the fact that, “it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (Philippians 2:12-13). God is restoring His image in us by His Spirit (II Corinthians 3:18).

The image of God is the starting point for how we think about humanity. Not just so we can rush to the fall of humanity and expound our doctrine of total depravity. This image is the shared reality of all people without exception or distinction. God singled out humans when He said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness…” ”So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:26-27; 9:6; James 3:9).

At the beginning, God “saw all that he had made, and it was very good” (Gen. 1:31). Humans (by God’s intention) had a very good and noble beginning (and we intuitively know it). But those intended for greatness have fallen. Sin is a tragic and culpable falling short of a glory we once knew– “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23).

• Something great has fallen from its greatness.
• Something amazing has lost its amazement.
• Something beautiful has lost its beauty.
• Something whole is broken.
• Something healthy is sick and in need of healing.
• Something peaceful has been disturbed.

As a result of this fall from glory, those who were whole are broken, partial and fractured. Humans are a combination of dignity and depravity. We find in each person a mix of good and bad.

Our fallenness means that every seemingly good part is tainted with badness (Romans 7:21). Depravity extends to every atom of our being. It’s without borders in us (see: Jeremiah 17:9; Romans 5:12).

As a result a sad set of terms are fitting to humanity: lost, wayward, drifting, restless, fallen, broken, fractured, alienated, separated, partial, incomplete, and dying. This is why the vocabulary of salvation suits us. We need intervention, rescue, redemption, forgiveness, reconciliation and restoration. 

We cannot lose sight of the fact that humans need ontological transformation— change of “being” before “behavior”– by spiritual regeneration.

God said, “I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 11:19). We need a recreation or new creation by the renewing of the Holy Spirit (Titus 3:5) for the restoring of the image of God in us. We need the God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” “to make his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ” (II Corinthians 4:6). We need to be reconciled to God to become a “new creation” in Christ (II Corinthians 5:17). And “all this is from God” (II Corinthians 5:18).

This change is not subtraction but addition. The flesh is not eradicated but God gives the Holy Spirit – “whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life” (Titus 3:6-7). It’s the foundational priority for all change (see: II Corinthians 4:16-18).

Yet we must consider transformation in the overall picture of:

• A glory we had at the beginning (Genesis 1:26-27).
• A glory we fell from in disobedience (Romans 3:23; 5:12; James 3:9).
• A glory being restored in us (through God’s gift of salvation and the indwelling Spirit (Rom. 6:23: II Cor. 3:18)
• A glory fully restored (despite our present suffering, Romans 8:18; Revelation 21:1-5).

This offers a strong teleological focus (a hope and a future beyond the temporal world) (see: Titus 3:3-7; II Corinthians 4:16-18). The teleological dimension of transformation is God’s provision of hope and purpose — things that matter at some level to rational people and that must shape a Christian understanding of influences like culture and politics. Christian thinking and living cannot happen (as intended) apart from telos.

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This discussion must be taken into another area – change via cultural/political agents — a focus that has widely captured evangelical vision.

From a Christian perspective, ontological change is prior to culture and political agents of change. I am not suggesting that we impose the gospel on culture and politics. Nor am I suggesting that other kinds of goods can’t be offered unless the spiritual is included (see: Romans 13).

But transformation of human existence (both individually and in community), from a Christian perspective must prioritize the ontological dimension (i. e. “being,” not just behavior).

External mechanisms like laws, customs, cultures and politics will not address the depth of the human problem. On a full Christian view, these external pressures are necessary (even divinely ordained) but not adequate. So we insist that making external adjustments like putting the “right” party in political office or changing laws and policies will not address our deepest needs.

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It takes a community:

On another level, humans are social beings. We are not meant to be alone (and we know it). Our lives depend on others and we were designed to flourish in community. But human relationships are the source of some of our deepest problems. Maintaining peace is a perplexing and painful project on almost every level. Although we still find that it’s not good to be alone, it’s complicated, difficult and sometimes even dangerous to be together.

God’s answer for our social and community needs is the Church. The work of Christ on earth cannot be thought of apart from the Church. He’s the one who said, “I will build my Church” (Matthew 16:18).

Those who are deeply concerned about transformation must apply their thoughts and concerns to the Church. The Church (as God’s new community) is not merely an organization but an organism. In some ontologically organic way, each believer (upon faith in Christ) is immersed into a living community or body of believers to form God’s new society.

Each local Church is made up of people who have experienced and are experiencing ontological transformation — though outwardly perishing, yet inwardly being renewed day by day — with a shared teleological vision — “we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (II Corinthians 4:16-18). Should these communities (local Churches) be exemplars of human flourishing at its best? Sound too idealistic?

We know that this side of God’s new world (Revelation 21:1-5), we will not experience utopia. Churches (i.e. Church members) have to “work hard to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3). This is because, as believers, our ontological change is not subtraction of the flesh but addition of the Spirit. Therefore we are told to “walk by the Spirit” if we desire to “not gratify the desires of the flesh.” In some way, the Spirit breaks the power/mastery of sin over us. Yet the conflict remains— “For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other” (Galatians 5.16-17).

In Galatians 5:15-16, there is an interesting connection between community life or relationships (at their worse) and walking by the Spirit as the solution. “If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not…”

A direct connection is made in these verses between protecting relationships from destruction (bite, devour, destroy: metaphors from the animal kingdom) and the role of the Holy Spirit. To avoid destructive relationship, we must,

• v.16 – walk by the Spirit;
• v.18 – be led by the Spirit;
• v.25a – live by the Spirit;
• v. 25b – keep in step with the Spirit

Galatians 5:16 says, “so I say”, (or ςέ “but I say”). Here is my advice.” Or, “Here is the remedy for the situation described in v. 15.” (Phillips). To protect Christian community (relationships) from destruction, each member must “live or walk by the Spirit.”

What kind of community is possible (or should be expected) when ontologically changed believers are immersed by one Spirit into organic life together?

Individual and community life of this kind (from Christian marriages, to families, to local Churches) among those who are walking by the Spirit (being filled by the Spirit) will be distinguished by pervasive practice of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control”

Against these qualities no law is needed. Imagine any relationship where these qualities are flourishing. And interestingly, back to some of this discussion, each of these qualities also appears as a command in the NT — reminding us that we are not passive recipients of the activity of God. Unworthy recipients? Yes. But not passive (see: Philippians 2:12-13).

Steve Cornell