Subversive Gospel-centered Communities

If we hope to compel others with the gospel that is “the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes” (Romans 1:16), we must display this power in humble, loving, truth-telling communities of mutual affection and honor:

“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other” (Romans 12:10, NLT).  

When our Churches are filled with people who treat each other with honor, deference and humble service (foot washing love), we will offer the needed (and desired) alternative to the uncertainty, anxiety, and angst of postmodern times.

“If the Biblical story is told truly, it will subvert the alternative stories. But to tell it truly, you have to be living it” (N. T. Wright, emphasis mine). 

When Churches are living the gospel narrative, they offer tangible plausibility to the authenticity of the gospel. (I suggest that most of the letters of the New Testament are aimed at this concern, see: purpose of the book of Romans).

 In the words of Jesus

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35).

We must not overlook the narrative Jesus provided for these words. His example of foot washing love (John 13:1-5 and 12-17) modeled the kind of community one should find in gospel-centered fellowships. We are called (and profoundly privileged) to be communities of humble service where mutual affection and honor are deeply experienced.

Legalistic churches will destroy this kind of community because of their addiction to externalism, manipulation and control. These kinds of Churches watch each other instead of watching out for each other (see: Hebrews 3:12-14). The first contradicts and defies gospel; the second is at the heart of the gospel.

I am not suggesting it’s easy to be loving and truth-telling communities. But there is something intentional about this difficulty that is an essential key to living it. God chose to put his treasure (the gospel) in vessels of clay so that the greatness of the power would be from God and not from us (II Corinthians 4:7). The very essence of the gospel narrative is grounded in this reality (see: Ephesians 2:8-9; Titus 3:3-6).

Reflect deeply and often on this:

The Christian worldview is based on one overarching story for all people.  And on this, N. T. Wright noted:

“Postmodernity is bound to object: metanarratives are controlling, dominating, and we all know the ways in which this story too has been used politically, socially and personally to bolster this or that power-trip. But the Biblical metanarrative itself resists being abused in this fashion, because it is the story of love.”  

“The Biblical metanarrative offers itself as the one story which cannot be deconstructed, to which the criticisms of Marx, Nietzsche and Freud are not relevant.  (Look at Jesus on the cross – was he doing that for money? Was he doing that for power? Was he doing it for sex? It was an act of love.) The story speaks from first to last of a God who did not need to create, but who did so out of overflowing and generous love. It speaks of a God who did not need to redeem and recreate, but did so as the greatest possible act of self-giving love.”

“Somehow if we are to address contemporary culture with the message of the Bible we must get used to combining two things which are normally at opposite poles—humility and truthtelling.”

“Somehow we have to tell the truth but to tell it as the liberating story, the healing story, the true story. And of course… the best way we can do this is by telling, again and again, in story and symbol and acted drama, the biblical story, focused on the story of Jesus himself, the true story of the Word made flesh. (That is why the great symbol at the heart of Christianity is the symbol of the eucharist; it is the symbol of that story.

But, “it is our task not just to tell but to live out the story—the model of God’s self-giving love in Christ must be the basis for our self-understanding, our life, and our vocation” (N. T. Wright).

Steve Cornell

* Please share this message with others.

See also: Understanding Legalism (parts 1,2,3,4)  and Watching out for one another

A Narrative for Life and Relationships

Imagine dying and entering heaven. The first person you want to see is Jesus Christ. It’s because of Him that you’re in heaven. But before you see Him, God has a little lesson for you to make sure you understand the kind of people who inhabit heaven. You enter the gate to heaven and see a man sweeping a street. You go over to him and ask if he could direct you to Jesus. 

Continue here: Audio message

Steve Cornell

Embracing a Kingdom Narrative:

“Then they began to argue among themselves about who would be the greatest among them. Jesus told them, “In this world the kings and great men lord it over their people, yet they are called ‘friends of the people.’ But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. Who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves” ( Luke 22:24-27). 

Remind yourself often of these truths:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3)

“All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble’” (I Peter 5:5)

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45)

Psychology and Big Business

A conversation is needed about the relationship between psychology and big business. The fields of counseling, psychotherapy and biopsychiatry have become big business. Should we be nervous about the profit-driven concerns of these disciplines? Are the narratives they use for behavior assessment self-serving to their business interests?

Over the last several decades, the question of why we do the things we do has experienced a kind of social revolution. The two most prominent waves of thought trace human behavior to nurture (social context) and nature (genes and brain chemistry). Until recently, the dominant narrative has been nurture and therapeutic psychiatry has been the authoritative discipline for understanding behavior. But breakthroughs in science and medicine shifted mainstream opinion toward nature as the best narrative for explaining behavior.

The new authority is now a big business combination of biopsychology, pharmacology, medicine and the insurance industry.

More objective efforts are needed in working toward a holistic narrative for helping people to understand themselves and their problems. The merging of big business and behavioral research is a slippery and potentially harmful arrangement. Human beings are more complicated than narratives of nurture and nature. Each aspect offers important considerations but neither should be permitted to exclude the other. More importantly, an additional discipline must be invited tothe table.

It might surprise some to know that the discipline of theology offers a wider perspective because it reinforces the fact that God created humans as physical, psychological, social and spiritual beings. Each of these dimensions should be considered in understanding why we do the things we do. Holistic care will not leave out any dimension of human existence.

Steve Cornell
Senior minister
Millersville Bible Church
58 West Frederick Street
Millersville, PA. 17551

Three Evening Prayers

Evening Praise

Giver of all, another day is ended and I take my place beneath my Great Redeemer’s cross, where healing streams continually descend, where balm is poured into every wound, where I wash anew in the all-cleansing blood, assured that You see in me no spots of sin. Yet a little while and I shall go to Your home and be no more seen; help me to prepare my mind, to hasten my step, to live as if each moment were my last, that my life be joy, my death glory.

I thank You for the temporal blessings of this world—the refreshing air, the light of the sun, the food that renews strength, the raiment that clothes, the dwelling that shelters, the sleep that gives rest, the starry canopy of night, the summer breeze, the flowers’ sweetness, the music of flowing streams, the happy endearments of family, kindred, and friends. Things animate, things inanimate, minister to my comfort. My cup runs over. Do not allow me to be insensible to these daily mercies. Your hand bestows blessings; Your power averts evil. I bring my tribute of thanks for spiritual graces, the full warmth of faith, the cheering presence of Your Spirit, the strength of Your restraining will, Your spiking of hell’s artillery. Blessed be my sovereign Lord!

Evening Prayer

O God, lover of Your people, You have placed my whole being in the hands of Jesus, my Redeemer, Commander, and Friend. You care for me in Him. Keep me holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners; may I not know the voice of strangers, but go to Him where He is, and follow where He leads. You have bathed me once for all in the sin-removing fountain; cleanse me now from this day’s defilement, from its faults, deficiencies of virtue, harmful extremes, that I may exhibit a perfect character in Jesus. O Master, who did wash the disciples’ feet, be very patient with me, be very condescending to my faults, go on with me until Your great work in me is completed. I desire to conquer self in every respect, too overcome the body with its affections and lusts, to keep under my flesh, to guard my person from all grosser sins, to check the refined power of my natural mind, to live entirely to Your glory, to be deaf to unmerited criticism and the praise of men. Nothing can hurt my new-born inner man, it cannot be smitten or die; nothing can mar the dominion of Your Spirit within me; it is enough to have Your approval and that of my conscience. Keep me humble, dependent, supremely joyful, as calm and quiet as a dependent child, yet earnest and active. I wish not so much to do as to be, and I long to be like Jesus; if You make me right, I shall be right; Lord, I belong to You, make me worthy of Yourself.

Evening Renewal

My Father, if Your mercy had boundaries, where would be my refuge from just wrath? But Your love for me in Christ is without measure. Thus, I present myself to You with sins of comission and omission, against You, my Father, against You, my Redeemer, against You and Your stirrings, O Holy Spirit, against the dictates of my conscience, against the precepts of Your Word, against my neighbors and myself. Enter not into judgment with me, for I plead no righteousness of my own, and have no place to hide my iniquity. Pardon my day dark with evil. This night I renew my repentance. Every morning I vow to love You more fervently, to serve You more sincerely, to be more devoted in my life, to be completely Yours; Yet I soon stumble, backslide, and have to confess my weakness, misery and sin. But I bless You that the finished work of Jesus needs no addition from my doings, that His atonement is sufficient satisfaction for my sins. If future days be mine, help me to amend my life, to hate and abhor evil, to flee the sins I confess. Make me more resolute, more watchful, more prayerful. Let no evil fruit spring from evil seeds my hands have sown; Let no neighbor be hardened in vanity and folly by my want of watchfulness. If this day I have been ashamed of Christ and His Word, or have shown unkindness, malice, envy, lack of love, unadvised speech, hasty temper, let it be no stumbling block to others, or dishonour to Your name. O, help me to set an upright example that will ever rebuke vice, appeal to goodness, and evidence that lovely are the ways of Christ.

(From: Valley of vision: a collection of Puritan prayers and devotions)

The Jeremy Lin story

We’ve been a basketball family for many years (Here and Here), so it’s been fun watching the Jeremy Lin story unfold. I love stories that go against the odds. Every so often an athlete rises without following the “normal” path. Lin was neither recruited out of high school nor drafted out of college. After being the number one pick in the 2010 summer league draft, prospects for success in the NBA didn’t look promising. The 6’3″ Lin has a 3′ vertical and plays the game with grace and skill. He also always looks like he’s just having a good time doing whatever is necessary to lead his team to a win.

Recently he was cut from the Golden State Warriors and the Houston Rockets. The New York Knicks picked him up but buried him on the bench and then sent him to the developmental league. Before a close call with another cut, opportunity knocked and Jeremy Lin was reinstated with the Knicks. On February 4, Lin scored 25 points, grabbed 5 rebounds and dished out 7 assists. The next game he had 28 points and 8 assists, and in the game featured bellow, he knocked down 38 points in a victory over the LA Lakers.

In an interview, Lin said, “I can’t say exactly why God had me take the path I took, but I know that He has more than revealed His power and sovereignty to me throughout this incredible process.”

Reflecting on his future, Lin said, “I have to stay disciplined and consistent with my devotionals and fellowship.  I am going to be discipled by my pastor from my home church — and will attend my home church.  That will help out a lot.”

“I have a heart for inner city ministry and nonprofit work.  So I’m learning and praying about what exactly that means.  I’m just trying to learn a lot and be sensitive to God so that I can expand his kingdom as much as possible.” (see: Why Jeremy Lin Matters — With an Unpublished Interview).

Steve Cornell

A closer look at Anger

Imagine a world without anger. Our world would simultaneously become a safer and more dangerous place. I know that I would be more dangerous to myself (and perhaps to others) if I didn’t get mad at myself. Anger is an emotion of protest and provocation. A person who does not experience anger (in this world) is either amoral or immoral. But unrestrained anger (anger without divine boundaries) is one letter away from danger.

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20)

 

A young couple recently admitted that they were blindsided by unexpected anger on their honeymoon. The wife didn’t understand how much her heart was ruled by anger. She grew up in a home where anger was not handled well. Although she vowed not to let it be part of her life, the intensity of marriage offered too many occasions for anger. “Why is it so hard to recognize an anger problem in your life?” she asked me. “Perhaps” I recommended, “because anger always carries an element of self-justification.” When we feel justified, we don’t see our anger as a destructive force. Many relationships (especially marriages) have been destroyed by anger.

Often anger isn’t fully recognized until the damage it creates is too great to be ignored. 

I’ve read that anger issues are part of ninety percent of all counseling on relationship difficulties. This corresponds well with my experience over the last 28 years of pastoral counseling. For some people anger is a serious personal problem. Others live or work with anger people. When we say, “It doesn’t take much to set him off” or “You have to walk on eggshells around her,” we’re referring to people with severe anger issues.

Some people are always angry; others store up anger for periodic — often unpredictable — explosions. Even more frustrating are those who publicly hide their tyrannical ways behind a pleasant façade but privately lash out on those close to them. 

What is it and how does it work?

 Processing anger correctly requires a careful look at what it is and how it works.

Anger has been described as a strong feeling of irritation or displeasure. It’s an emotional readiness to defend or retaliate. Anger can be directed toward people, things, or circumstances. It can be rational or irrational; beneficial or destructive. Anger producing circumstances and anger provoking people are part of life. We must choose our response.

Scripture repeatedly emphasizes the need to control anger. “The fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control” (Proverbs 29:11). 

Our sense of right and wrong.

Anger is not always a wrong response. The person deficient of strong displeasure toward evil lacks good moral character. Scripture even associates a righteous anger with God. Yet, unlike humans, God is only angry when it’s right to be angry. 

“Sometimes we get involved in a legitimate issue and discern, perhaps with accuracy, the right and the wrong of the matter. However, in pushing the right side, our own egos get so bound up with the issue that in our view opponents are not only in the wrong but attacking us. When we react with anger, we may deceive ourselves into thinking we are defending the truth and the right, when deep down we are more concerned with defending ourselves.”

“In none of the cases in which Jesus became angry was his personal ego wrapped up in the issue. More telling yet, when he was unjustly arrested, unfairly tried, illegally beaten, contemptuously spit upon, crucified, mocked, when in face he had every reason for his ego to be involved, then, as Peter says, ‘he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats’ (I Peter 2:23). From his parched lips came forth rather those gracious words, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing’ (Luke 23:34). Let us admit it – by and large, we are quick to be angry when we are personally affronted and offended, and slow to be angry when sin and injustice multiply in other areas.” (D. A. Carson).

How well do you handle anger?

Do you internalize it? Perhaps you withdraw from conflict by leaving the room, hiding behind work or other activities or turning to substance abuse. Sadly, this response never resolves anything; it fails to deal with root causes of anger. Internalizing anger often leads to more subtle forms of expression – manipulative mood swings, sarcastic verbal jabs, slander, and other less aggressive responses.

Perhaps you internalize anger in public and redirect it to undeserving family members. The scenario looks like this: The boss yells at an employee. The man takes it out on his wife. The wife yells at the children. The children kick the dog. The dog bites the cat … Sound humorous? In real life, it’s misery.

Others externalize anger with direct aggression. This person lashes out with verbal and physical attacks on the object of his anger (or the most accessible object). This approach to anger often leads to violence and abuse. It leaves a trail of broken people and damaged property – tending to multiply until a major crisis occurs.

Scripture highly commends those who control anger. “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city” (Proverbs 16:32). “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression” (Proverbs 19:11).

The emphasis on being slow to anger warns us to respect its power and control. It’s wise to be aware of and to prepare oneself for anger producing situations and anger provoking people. Knowing the sources of anger can help us minimize it.

Sources for anger include

An unorganized life, over commitment to low priorities, unresolved guilt, hurtful experiences from our past, unfulfilled expectations, violation of legitimate or perceived rights, feeling misunderstood or unappreciated and imposed circumstances out of one’s control.

Learned patterns of anger

Parents who do not handle anger properly pass their habits to their children. Scripture warns about learned anger: “Do not associate with one given to anger, and with a wrathful man do not keep company, lest you learn his ways and get yourself in a snare” (Proverbs 22:24-25). People with serious anger problems should seek counseling before their destructive ways destroy others.

To handle anger constructively, we need to identify the sources without blaming behavior on others. We must take full responsibility for our actions if we hope to gain freedom. Rationalizing and justifying anger only leads to more destructive consequences. The first step to victory is to acknowledge that you can control your anger with God’s help.

Action points 

Admit your failure to value the objects of your anger. Avoid reading into the actions of others. Communicate instead of exploding. Refuse to allow anger to escalate. Resolve anger daily! Scripture says, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26). Don’t nurse an angry heart. Replace anger with kindness and love - remembering the love God has shown to you.

Final thought:

It’s tricky to know when human anger is in line with God’s anger. Perhaps when we’re angry without measures of grace and mercy, we should be suspicious about the purity of our anger. People with serious anger problems often tend to have distorted versions of justice which serve to validate their anger. One of the earliest questions God asked a human being was: “Why are you angry?” (Genesis 4:6). This is also the account involving the first mention of “sin.” Was the sin the lethal anger that filled Cain’s heart and distorted his countenance? Is God warning that the sin of unchecked anger is like a vicious animal looking to pounce its’ prey (Genesis 4:6-7).

When hurt or even upset by the injustice we see around us, it’s hard to separate our sinful selves from our anger. The tensions within human anger are reflected well in the warnings of Ephesians 4:26-27; Hebrews 12:15; James 1:19-20.

 Steve Cornell

Two principles for resolving conflict

A life transformed by love

Overcoming a painful past

My grandfather was an alcoholic for most of his adult life. Like many alcoholics, he was functional during the day and drunk most nights. My mother recently told me that she never had a single meaningful conversation with her father. As a young girl, she tried to get rid of her dad’s alcohol and even went to a pastor to ask help for him.

Mom’s life was obviously affected by living under an alcoholic father. The absence of a healthy father-daughter relationship is a significant loss. Some, (like my mother), overcome their loss and live healthy lives. Many others carry their struggles into life in a way that sends their pain to the next generation.

As a counselor, I am convinced that most personal and relational problems have strong connections with what I call the eighteen-year factor. This is the amount of time lived in one’s family of origin. These are defining years when we learn and experience many things that we carry with us for life.

If you grew up in a functionally healthy home, you received a gift that has become increasingly rare.

If your eighteen-year factor was disrupted by a significant negative experience, you can be sure that it affected your sense of security, identity and your relationships. Traumatic experiences (like the loss of a parent or sibling, the divorce of parents or sexual abuse as a child) are life altering. But you must be honest about your past and the way it affected you.

Families plagued with severe dysfunctions are also damaging to children. If you lived under an alcoholic parent or in an atmosphere of physical or emotional abuse, or with significant neglect of nurture and discipline, your life has been deeply affected–usually beyond what you realize.

Emotionally aloof fathers or parents who withhold affirmation and acceptance leave deficits in the lives of their children. It’s not uncommon for men of all ages to battle issues related to a bad father-son relationship. And women are especially vulnerable to future instability when their fathers withhold affection and affirmation. Many pursue unhealthy male relationships. Some battle deep feelings of inadequacy and a continual sense that something important is missing. Others struggle with anxiety, low self-esteem and depression.

Children in such homes tend to develop protective mechanisms to shield themselves from pain. When forced to deal with things that they lack the maturity to handle, they have to find a means to protect themselves. They’re often unaware of these protective instincts when they carry them into adulthood. Protective mechanisms no longer protect you in adult relationships.

A tendency to shut down emotionally may protect a child in an abusive home, but when the same response is harmful to adult relationships. Children of alcoholic parents often become enablers and co-dependents. Others find relief in anger or excessive efforts to control their lives. All of these protective responses are damaging to future relationships.

Those who carry protective mechanisms into adulthood often don’t understand why they feel and act as they do. They usually remain unaware of the significance of their upbringing until they enter intimate relationships with other adults — especially marriage. The walls used to shield them from hurtful experiences in childhood hinder them from enjoying meaningful and mature adult relationships.

The damages from an unhealthy eighteen-year factor must be identified for the path of healing and restoration to be effective. Although it seems easier to pretend that you have not been affected by your upbringing, denial always makes matters worse. It also assures that the next generation will experience the hurt and perpetuate the damage.

Overcoming a problem can only begin when we admit we have it and recognize how it’s affecting (and perhaps hurting) us and those around us.

Confront yourself with the truth. Do not allow yourself to drift into a state of loss by never dealing honestly with the damage done to you. Do not hide behind superficial clichés no matter how spiritual they might sound. Change is rarely an overnight accomplishment.

Overcoming a significantly dysfunctional past usually requires assistance from a wise counselor. But first we must allow those closest to us to help us to see our walls and our defense mechanisms. Usually the hardest part of this is the vulnerability it requires.

Those who have lived with neglect or abuse find it difficult to trust others and their fears sadly hold them in defensive postures. Their loss is multiplied as they never learn the joy of intimate relationships.

One of the dangers in identifying the failures and neglect of one’s parents is a temptation toward self-pity or resentment. When I asked my mom how she overcame her past, she said she refused to allow self-pity to control her life. She said, “I think too many people just wallow in their hurts and allow the past to ruin their lives.” 

The only thing we can change about the past is how we let it affect us in the future.

It’s sometimes hard to recognize that when we choose anger and bitterness, we double our loss and extend the effects of the evil done against us. I’ve observed far too many people who hold tightly to cherished resentments as a means of dealing with their painful experiences.

I encourage people to recognize that resentment at least indicates a level of emotional connection with the reality of one’s past and could become a catalyst to freedom. But resentment also offers a false feeling of control through a kind of emotional retaliation. Feelings of resentment can only lead to freedom and true control if processed in God-honoring way. Again, this often requires the assistance of a wise counselor.

Mom’s father was not a violent alcoholic and she realizes it would have been harder to overcome worse circumstances. Mom attributes her victory to her faith in Jesus Christ. She trusted Christ as her Savior when I was eleven years old. In the early days of her faith, a turning point came for her when she thanked God for allowing her to have an alcoholic father and asked God to use her experience to help others.

Beyond her eleven children, mom has had many spiritual children. These people often look to her for guidance. Mom’s life verse is:

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (III John 4).

Steve Cornell

* My grandfather authentically trusted in Christ shortly before his death. 

See also: Forgiveness is one thing; Reconciliation, another