Two 90 second audio devotionals

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 

Wisdomforlife

Scriptures

  • “As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him?” (Psalm 42:1-2). 
  • “O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water” (Psalm 63:1).
  • “You fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand?” (Psalm 16:11).

Audio Devotional here –  Thirsting for God

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Scriptures

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40).

  • Carry each other’s burdens (Gal. 6:2)
  • Have…

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Reluctant historians respond

2c80b-newyear2013goalsandresolutionsIn my book I challenge men not to be reluctant historians of their emotional past. So you can understand how encouraged I was to read the following reviews by three men:
 
1. I had been hearing that Steve was writing this book for a long time and it was well worth the wait. Regardless of whether we had a pleasant childhood or a horrible one we all carry baggage from our past that negatively effects our lives and usually without us being aware of it. Steve addresses possible root causes of problems and gives real guidance on how to achieve freedom from our past without psychobabble or being preachy. Highly recommended.
Brian D.
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2. This was an awesome book that’s a must-read, especially for anyone looking to get married or that’s married already. It’s chock full of stories and examples of how our most formative years of upbringing impact our lives and relationships well beyond our “18 year factor.”
Adam M
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3. As someone who comes from what the author would describe as a “good family”, I appreciated the insight on how events during the most formative years of life play out in adulthood. I will certainly look back to many of Steve’s observations and proposed ‘detox’ techniques when giving counsel to others. As an active-duty military parent of pre-teens, the chapters on significant childhood disruptions gave me pause and forced me to evaluate the role my life choices are playing in my childrens’ 18-year factor. A worthwhile read for those with a dysfunctional past as well as anyone who interacts with people in our modern society.
Brandon C.
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Thank you men!
Steve Cornell
Oder your copy today from AMAZON
 
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Conversation with my medical doctor

(Biologically-disordered depression)

Comment from my doctor

Sometimes I diagnose what I believe to be biologically-based depression and I give a patient a prescription for antidepressants, only to have the patient go to a spiritual advisor who then counsels them with a “five-Bible-verses-and-you’ll-be-better” prescription.

My response

I get it, doc. It’s wrong for these spiritual advisors to reduce people to purely spiritual beings who simply need more Bible verses. However, I am sure that you agree that we equally should not reduce people to merely physical beings with only neurological needs. The primary prescriber of antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications are you and your fellow family practitioners.

I understand that you have a list of nine characteristics for assessing depression, but my concern is how quickly a diagnosis is possible and how misleading it could be to think of the medicine as the remedy.

By the way, how much time do you spend with each patient? If I get ten minutes of your time, it seems like a lot. You have patients waiting in other rooms. How adequately can a diagnosis be made in such a short amount of time? And how often do we misdiagnose normal sadness as disordered sadness?

Don’t misunderstand. I sympathize with the pressures on doctors ever since the unseating of therapeutic psychology by bio-psychology. I realize that the convergence of medicine with pharmacology, insurance, lawyers, and big business has made work complicated for doctors. I am also grateful for the benefits of drugs for neurologically related needs.

My concern is how often a patient assumes that medicine is the whole answer for her needs. Is consideration given to her social circumstances? We are also social beings with relationship needs. Perhaps we also have unrealistic expectations for happiness. Do we have an adequate understanding of the anatomy of normal sadness and how it differs from disordered depression?

Steve Cornell

(From my book – “The 18-Year Factor: How our upbringing affects our lives and relationships”

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The Self-blame trap

Answering the "Why?" of lifeSelf-blame for traumatic childhood experiences must end. Parents, guardians, or other adults who neglect or abuse children will sometimes shift blame for the abuse onto the child. They might say, “If you weren’t such a difficult kid, you could have had a better life” or “Don’t you think you brought it on yourself?” or “Half of your problems were your own doing.”

Self-blame, a toxic effect of a troubled 18-year factor, is often the basis for a self-limiting belief system children carry from their traumatic experiences into adulthood.

Self-doubt plays a significant role in shaping a child’s mind because of the lies and deceptions that were “normal” to his upbringing. One of the most formidable lies is self-blame for experiences under dysfunctional adults. We must detox this harmful effect by being very clear that we’re not given a choice about the kind of upbringing we experience or the adults who raise us. Many understandably resent this fact. Most, however, retain some degree of self-blame for their upbringing.

Returning responsibility to an abuser should purge the toxicity of self-blame for a lousy upbringing. At its core, it’s a step toward purging the damaging messages sent by abusive parents or other adults.

It’s time to stop making excuses for the hurtful actions of abusers. I am asking you to make a verbal and written transfer of responsibility to the adults responsible for your 18-year factor. Name the adults and the specific ways they hurt you. Remind yourself that these things were not experiences chosen by you and that you are not at fault.

Resolve not to allow others to make you feel responsible or guilty for the actions and words of adult abusers, recognizing that you were the victim.

To be clear, I’m not inviting you to play the blame-game or to become angry and bitter. These kinds of reactions extend victimhood and bind you to the abusers. Don’t be surprised, however, at unexpected emotions when you make a verbal and written transfer of responsibility.

Removing self-blame is emotionally challenging. You are wise to take this step with the help of a trusted friend or counselor.

(From: Steve Cornell, https://www.amazon.com/dp/1798227959/ref=sr_1_2)

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Why I love the Church

It’s time to change the way we think about Church.

Wisdomforlife

Church06Those who say they love God but do not love the Church could be deceiving themselves about their love for God. (see my previous post here)

The words from I John 4:20 are sobering: “For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.”

We cannot love God in the abstract. Stated differently, we show our love for God by our active love for His people (see: Hebrews 6:10).

Consider how important it is to love the Church in the following points.

Final judgment

This truth about loving God by loving His people will actually factor in at the final judgment when Jesus says,

  • “Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat…

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Summer reading worth your time

canstock16254897Allow me to introduce an important new book: “The 18-Year Factor: How our upbringing affects our lives and relationships.”

The 18-year Factor is a way of referring to the first 18 years of life. Exploring these critical years takes us on a journey back to our childhood home. That journey allows looking closely at how the people, circumstances, and experiences of the past continue to affect our lives and relationships.

  • One reader offered the following review: “As someone who comes from what the author would describe as a “good family,” I appreciated the insight on how events during the most formative years of life play out in adulthood. I will certainly look back on many of Steve Cornell’s observations and proposed ‘detox’ techniques when giving counsel to others. As an active-duty military parent of pre-teens, the chapters on significant childhood disruptions gave me pause and forced me to evaluate the role my life choices are playing in my children’s 18-year factor. A worthwhile read for those with a dysfunctional past as well as anyone who interacts with people in our modern society.”

I must confess that I wrote my book partly to address a lifelong hesitation regarding Christian counseling and discipleship that does not adequately address the profound influences of the first 18 years of life. We must not offer superficial solutions but ones that respect all dimensions of life.

To reach as broad an audience as possible, I avoided the use of most explicit Christian references. In the final chapter, however, I invite readers to consider the spiritual dimension of existence and why I have chosen a Christian understanding of spirituality. (The jury has not returned with the verdict as to whether this was the best approach). I am currently working on a supplemental biblical guide for individuals and churches. This will complement the evaluations and discussion items at the end of each chapter.

The influential ACE’s (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study is an example of how the subject matter of my book is currently center stage in education and medicine. According to Dr. Robert Block, the former President of the American Academy of Pediatrics, “Adverse childhood experiences are the single greatest unaddressed public health threat facing our nation today.”

I wrote The 18-Year Factor by combining my understanding of Scripture to the findings of psychology and medicine with 35 years of counseling experience. Some of my conclusions are unexpected and perhaps unprecedented. My goal has been shaped by Proverbs 29:5 – “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” We need more people with the insights necessary for helping those who struggle with the ongoing effects of a difficult childhood.

Get a copy today at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1798227959/ref=sr_1_2

Steve Cornell

 

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He is not here, He has risen!

“The life of Jesus is bracketed by two impossibilities: a virgin’s womb and an empty tomb. Jesus entered our world through a door marked ‘no entrance’ and left through a door marked ‘no exit’” (Peter Larson).

via He is not here, He has risen!

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