Category Archives: Dysfunctional

The Self-blame trap

Self-blame, a toxic effect of a troubled 18-year factor, is often the basis for a self-limiting belief system children carry from their traumatic experiences into adulthood. Continue reading

Posted in 18 Year factor, Abuse, Child Abuse, Dysfunctional, Wisdom | Tagged | Leave a comment

Summer reading worth your time

“I did not want to disappoint others so I created a false image of myself. I tried to look normal on the outside when everything within me was chaotic.” Continue reading

Posted in 18 Year factor, Child Abuse, Christian Counselor, Counseling, Dysfunctional, Family life, Wisdom | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

A quiet domineering father (Lisa’s story)

My father was often quiet, but a stern look or gesture from him conveyed so much danger to me. I was always afraid of setting him off — even though he never hit us or anything like that. It seems difficult to understand how someone can rule with fear without actually doing anything. But I lived in fear of him. Continue reading

Posted in 18 Year factor, Abuse, Dysfunctional, Fathers, Wisdom | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Hurt by a distant father (Julie’s story)

Julie was baffled by unexplainable outbursts of anger and an almost continual feeling of discontentment — even though she was married to a loving, supportive husband and had four beautiful children. Continue reading

Posted in 18 Year factor, Abuse, Child Abuse, Dysfunctional, Family life, Fathers, Parenting, Wisdom | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

A life trapped in violence

Much of my childhood was spent crying, and I was often fearful that my mother would kill me. My mother once told me that she wished she had gotten rid of my siblings and me when she had the chance. My heart would break every time she said something like that. Continue reading

Posted in 18 Year factor, Abuse, Child Abuse, Dysfunctional, Violence, Wisdom | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

A dark secret (sexual abuse)

Imagine what it does to a little girl’s sense of identity and security when her grandfather sexually violates her. How would Sue feel if someone told her to “just get over it” or “forgive him and move on”? How is she supposed to do this? Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, Child Abuse, Dysfunctional, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Sexuality, Wisdom | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Four kinds of children and parents

Over the years, I’ve observed four kinds of children in dysfunctional homes. Consider your approach to parenting and the possible affects it has on your children. Continue reading

Posted in 18 Year factor, Dysfunctional, Parenting, Parenting Groups, Parenting teens, Teenagers, Wisdom | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment