The way out of resentment

Is it possible to carry deep resentments and not even be aware of the power they hold over you?

One woman learned the power of suppressed resentment fifteen years after a tragic accident. The woman is currently living in California but was raised in Lancaster, Pennsylvania (our home town).

Fifteen years ago, she had stopped to assist a couple of motorists and was violently struck by a drunk driver. For a year after the accident, she was unable to walk without assistance. But it took her fifteen years to come to terms with the anger that she held and the hold it had on her.

Shortly after the accident, the drunk driver wrote her a letter but she refused to open it. She wouldn’t do anything to validate this man’s existence. Then, many years later, something happened that led her to find the letter and open it. She was writing a book on forgiveness based on an Amish family and she learned of the Nickel Mine murders at an Amish School house in Lancaster. The gunman, Charles Roberts IV shot ten girls (aged 6–13), killing five, before committing suicide.

As the story unfolded, the woman was unable to continue to write her book. The horrific nature of the crime and the response of the Amish community led her to look more deeply at her own loss. She was so profoundly moved by the love the Amish showed toward the Roberts family (the family of the murderer). Their love and forgiveness forced her to face a flood of pent up emotions. Her anger toward the drunk driver who changed her life had never been completely resolved. She knew she had to come to terms with the power he held over her and the resentment that consumed her soul.

To validate her anger, she spent many years denying the existence of this man. But through watching the response of the Amish community to the Roberts family, she recognized her need to humanize the man who profoundly altered her life and acknowledge the possibility that he had struggles of his own. She retrieved his unopened letter from a file and read it. The information she learned about the man helped her release years of suppressed anger.

When asked what changes she experienced with forgiveness, after a brief pause, she spoke of her freedom from a gravitational pull toward a cynical and sarcastic outlook on life. This is a common shield people use to hide their deep hurts and anger. Cynical and sarcastic people often use these responses to shield themselves from painful experiences.

After she finished her novel on forgiveness, in an amazing demonstration of freedom from bitterness, she dedicated the book to the drunk driver.

Resentment

Resentment is an emotion that has the power to chain us to the past. When we resent people, we give them a kind of power over us.

Resentment, as an emotion, is based on a way of thinking that implies that I have been treated wrongly or that I deserve better. (I’ve been wronged; I deserve better.) It flows from an entitlement mentality and feeds a victim mentality.

Are you familiar with the cycle: Expectations→ Disappointment→ Anger → Resentment — Bitterness

But how can we be free of resentment, anger and an unforgiving spirit? We need to change the way we think about these responses by making a connection between anger, bitterness and idolatry.

Anger, bitterness……idolatry

We must not gloss over the urgent warning from our Lord in Matthew 6:14-15 – “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

The spiritual consequences of withholding forgiveness are significant. In fact, this may be one of the primary reasons why many followers of Christ are not experiencing the joy and fulness of life in Christ.

According to Hebrews 12:15, a small root of bitterness is personally troubling and poisonously infectious. When we’ve been hurt, we become vulnerable to anger and angry people are vulnerable to bitterness.

Anger gains full hold when it turns into bitterness and bitter people are difficult to help. God pictured anger as a vicious animal looking to pounce its’ prey (Genesis 4:6-7). We must deal with our anger before it becomes bitterness (see: Ephesians 4:26-27).

Bitterness is more difficult to dislodge when it becomes a fully entrenched condition of the heart. Bitterness for many people has become a form of idolatry that rules their hearts in place of God.

To gain freedom, we must learn to see bitterness as a protective mechanism we use to guard our cherished resentments. This is where resentment and bitterness must be confessed as a form of idolatry.

The teaching of Jesus on forgiveness is a reminder that an unforgiving heart contradicts the gospel and disrupts spiritual progress. The way out of resentment and anger is to meditate often on the greatness of God’s forgiveness of our sins.

Steve Cornell

No one came to my support

It’s hard to comprehend what the apostle Paul experienced when he wrote, “At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me” (II Timothy 4:16).

How could it be?

Paul was no recluse who failed to build meaningful relationships in the Church. He was one of the primary Christian leaders at the time. He had won many to Christ and planted numerous churches. He also sacrificed greatly on behalf of many people. He was a teacher and an apostle of the Church. And no one came to his support? Everyone deserted him?

How could it be that so many forgot or abandoned Paul in his time of need? Think about it. No one cared enough to show up.  

How does it feel to be forgotten?

How does it feel to be deserted? Paul could have said, “Well, Well, I guess I’ll think twice before I sacrifice myself for these people.” “After all I’ve done for them, this is how I get treated?” “I guess I now know how much I am appreciated!” 

It’s natural to feel self-pity and resentment when we’ve been forgotten and unappreciated. It’s super-natural to respond as Paul did. Paul chose forgiveness over resentment when he said, “May it not be held against them.”

And then he told of a special visitor who came to his aid. “But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength,…” (II Timothy 4:17).

If Paul had chosen resentment toward those who had deserted him, it’s unlikely that he would have been able to detect the Lord’s presence with him. A bitter heart cannot experience the strengthening presence of the Lord. Paul would have pushed away from the Lord if he had allowed his heart to be controlled by self-pity and resentment. 

In the footsteps of the Savior

Perhaps, however, Paul’s experience is not so strange. Maybe it’s actually a required course in the curriculum for those who follow Christ.

We must remember that those who follow Christ are called to identify with him in his sufferings (I Peter 2:21) and to fill up in the flesh the sufferings of Christ (Colossians 1:24). Perhaps this life will require some experiences like the ones the Savior endured for us.

Jesus was deserted by his own disciples.

• “A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me” (John 16:32).
• “On the way, Jesus told them, ‘Tonight all of you will desert me. For the Scriptures say, ‘God will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered'” (Matthew 26:31). 

Gethsemane experience.

“All those who journey, soon or late, Must pass within the garden’s gate; Must kneel alone in darkness there, And battle with some fierce despair. God pity those who cannot say, Not mine but thine, who only pray, Let this cup pass, and cannot see The purpose in Gethsemane” (Ella Wheeler Wilcox).

It hurts to be forgotten and deserted. But when faced with such experiences, we multiply our pain if we choose bitterness over forgiveness. We also push away from the presence of the one who said, “…surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” and “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you’” (Matthew 28:20; Hebrews 13:5).

Reflect on the words of the psalmist, “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close” (Psalm 27:10). 

Steve Cornell 

Don’t let them drag you down

People who are perpetually discontent often try to spread discontentment to otherwise grateful people. Don’t let them drag you down. Call them out of their negativity to a more God-honoring way of seeing life. We don’t want to be in the group identified as “grumblers and faultfinders” (Jude 16). 

Reflect and act

• Philippians 2:14-15 – “Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.” (NLT)
• I Thessalonians 5:18 – “In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ” Spirit-filled people are “always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:20).
 God calls us to be extravagantly grateful! A moderately grateful person is not doing life in the will of God.
• I Corinthians 13:7 – ” “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (NLT)
• Titus 3:10-11 – “If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them. For people like that have turned away from the truth, and their own sins condemn them.” (NLT)

See: Grouchy people sharing a gospel of grace? Steve Cornell

Discouragement – a “dis” on courage

Discouragement is a “dis” on courage! Have you ever thought about it that way? It’s a loss of courage, confidence or hope. Discouragement includes some degree of fear. 

The word “courage” is part of the word “discourage.” It’s like the word disheartened (a “dis” on heart or a loss of heart). Don’t let life “dis” on your courage or heart! 

Why do our words need prefixes and suffixes?

When we rebelled against God’s good plan for us, our existence required prefixes and suffixes to negate otherwise good words. Dis -courage, dis-obedience, dis -able, dis -agree, dis -advantage… Faith-less, hope-less, etc…

We must come to see sin as something that not only disobeys God’s will but also spoils the good and corrupts worthy virtues. Discouragement assaults and spoils courage.

This is why we need exhortations like the one to “….. stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain” (I Corinthians 15:58).

Like Joshua, we need to hear God saying, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).

Sometimes, (with sensitivity), discouraged people need gentle but firm admonishment about a loss of perspective that leads to a loss of courage.

Discouragement is more than a feeling. It involves a loss of wider life perspective. It narrows life down by discounting things that count. Courage is necessary for life in a fallen world. It helps us see things more honestly and positively. It fortifies us to tackle the work of everyday living.

“Despondency has a way of selectively focusing on certain aspects of life and conveniently overlooking others. Despair is always colorblind; it can only see the dark tints” (David A. Hubbard).

Discouragement wants to blind me to all the encouraging little things in life. I need to be admonished to, ““Stop being unamazed by the strange glory of ordinary things” (Clyde Kilby).

And sometimes I allow discouragement to derail my prayers so that I focus prayer so much on obstacles and challenges that I fail to give thanks for many great little ways God is working.

The way out of the dark tunnel of despair is not always a change of circumstance but a change of perspective. The humble worship of repentance (over my ingratitude) leads me to the worship of gratitude and frees me from the feelings of hopelessness and anxiety that so often accompany discouragement.

It’s easy to be misunderstood when you need to discourage the discouraged. People will sometimes accuse you of causing them more discouragement. But we cannot adequately encourage those who have lost perspective without discouraging them from a frame of mind that binds them to their discouragement. (Read it again).

Sometimes we can’t shake our discouragement because we don’t feel God is caring for us as we believe He should. When we feel down we often lock ourselves more deeply into our feelings with wrong ways of thinking. We bury ourselves more deeply into discouragement by listening to ourselves instead of speaking truth to ourselves. Part of the cure is to begin to think differently based on God’s truth and hope-filled promises (see: Spiritual Depression).

The primary New Testament Greek word translated “encourage” is “parakaleo” and means to call alongside. The word was used in a military context to call for reinforcements. Encouragement (like an encourager) functions as a reinforcement for life — a boost to our courage!

Offering encouragement is a means of giving courage, hope and confidence to others. It’s usually in the form of verbal affirmation, comfort, and exhortation. We need encouragement as part of the cure for discouragement. But sometimes our need is not merely to hear words of positive reinforcement. 

Getting out of the fog of despondency often requires a little loving admonishment. Caring friends will cross this line with love and sensitivity when they sense we need a better perspective. But we must allow people with mature perspective to have this kind of access to us. (For building larger perspective: Counseling the whole person).

Steve Cornell

Confused about God in a world of suffering

What kind of God do we serve? Does he care about how bad things are on the earth?

The way God revealed himself 

God entered our mess through the life of Jesus Christ (John 1:1-3,14; Colossians 1:29). When Jesus walked on earth, he suffered in many ways as we do. On one occasion, Jesus wept over the grave of His dear friend (John 11:34-36), even though he knew he would raise him from the dead (John 11:38-44).

Our merciful Lord can empathize with the feelings of our trials and suffering (Hebrews 2:17-18; 4:14-16). But does the Lord continue to weep over graves? Should we think of God in these terms?

Early in human history, the compassionate heart of God was revealed when, “the Lord saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain” (Genesis 6:5-6).

If we only think of God in terms of His sovereignty, we might miss His heart. Of course, God would not be worthy of the title if He did not posses ultimate and final authority over all things. This means (among other things) that God is free to act as He chooses in alleviating suffering or restraining evil or lifting the restraints on evil and evil beings. But God’s sovereign authority over every molecule of life should never be thought of in a way that impugns Him for the evil actions of other beings (James 1:13-17). 

Saddened but not Surprised

While God is deeply saddened by evil, suffering and death, He is never surprised, shocked or “caught off guard.” Sometimes God chooses to restrain evil but, on other occasions, He allows evil to violate His moral will and break His heart. The most dramatic example of this occurred “during the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death” (Hebrews 5:7).

Jesus was “heard by God because of his reverent submission” yet “God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ” (II Corinthians 5:21). God the Father let His Son go to a brutal death at the hands of wicked creatures — even as Jesus cried out, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?” Matthew 27:46

The point we must understand is that it’s not enough to think of God in terms of sovereignty and absolute authority. While we should look to God for guidance and protection in this evil world, we must do so recognizing that God never promised that we will not be affected by evil in this life. Nor does God force His moral will on those who reject it. One day everything will conform to God’s moral will under His judgment. When this day comes, Scripture clearly emphasizes that, “God will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

In our efforts to understand how God relates to the evil actions of humans (or even to His own acts of judgment), we must make some important distinctions concerning God’s will. We must learn to think in terms of God’s sovereign, moral and dispositional will. If we look only at God’s sovereign will, our understanding will be inadequately based on selective parts of His revelation of himself in Scripture.

God has also offered us a window into His heart or His inner most intentions — His dispositional will. 

Looking at God’s heart

II Peter 3:9 reminds us of how “God is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” Obviously this refers to something other than the sovereign will or predetermined plan of God because some people will perish. This tells us that God does not desire that people perish – even though, in His judgment, He must cause some to perish (cf. John 3:16-18,36).

A classic statement making this distinction is found in Ezekiel 33:11 – “‘As I live,’ declares the Lord, `I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that the wicked turn from his way and live’ ” (c.f. Lam. 3:33a).

God made deeply moving pleas for human repentance that offer a window into His heart:

“‘Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, each according to his conduct,’ declares the Lord God. `Repent and turn away from all your transgressions, so that iniquity may not become a stumbling block to you. Cast away from you all your transgressions which you have committed, and make yourselves a new heart and a new spirit! For why will you die, O house of Israel? For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone who dies,’ declares the Lord God, `Therefore, repent and live'” (Ezekiel 18:30-32).

We see this emphasis also in the writings of the apostle Paul: “This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” ( I Timothy 2:3-4).

What others have taught

“All things being equal, God does desire that no one perishes, but all things are not equal. Sin is real. Sin violates God’s holiness and righteousness. God also is not willing that sin go unpunished. He desires as well that His holiness be vindicated. When the preceptive will is violated, things are no longer equal. Now God requires punishment while not particularly enjoying the personal application of it” (R.C. Sproul, Following Christ, pp. 217-18).

“Despite everything it (Scripture) says about the limitless reaches of God’s sovereignty, the Bible insists again and again on God’s unblemished goodness. `The Lord is righteous in all His ways, and kind in all His deeds’ (Ps. 145:17). `His work is perfect, for all His ways are just; a God of faithfulness and without injustice, righteous and upright is He’ (Deut. 32:4).” (D.A. Carson).
Wait just a minute!

One might be inclined to ask, “If God is sovereign and He desires that all be saved and none perish, why doesn’t God simply decree what He desires?” An absolutely sovereign God could have decreed a world without the possibility of sin. So why is the world the way it is?

Remember these four truths

First, when God created the earth and gave it to humanity, He declared all He provided to be “very good” (Genesis 1:31). 

Secondly, the apostle Paul wrote, “For by one man sin entered the world and death by sin…” (Rom. 5:12).

Thirdly, God has decreed a world without the possibility of sin and suffering – the new heavens and new earth. “Nothing impure will ever enter it” (Rev. 21:27;Rev. 21:3-5; II Pet. 3:13). Only those who have confessed with their mouth “Jesus is Lord” and believed in their heart that God raised Him from the dead will enter this perfect world.

Finally, Scripture emphasizes that those who reject God’s provision; those who choose not to believe in Christ come under God’s wrath (John 3:16-18, 36). This reveals the extent of God’s respect for human responsibility (cf. Josh. 24:14-15), but also provides hope for those who are too young or unable to make this kind of decision.

For those of us who are able to respond, Scripture warns against taking the kindness of God lightly.

“Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God, who will render to every man according to his deeds” (Romans 2:4-6).

Scripture also reminds us that God is willing to judge evil but restrains His wrath so that more people might come to salvation.

“What if God, although willing to demonstrate His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction? And He did so in order that He might make known the riches of His glory upon vessels of mercy, which He prepared beforehand for glory” (Romans 9:22-23).

Wrap up

We ought to recognize with humble gratitude that if God operated this world on a principle of immediate justice, we all would be doomed (Romans 3:10, 23).

We can avoid unnecessary confusion about God and gain strength to hold on to the hope given to us by understanding the various dimensions of God’s will revealed in Scripture.

We certainly don’t want to be like Job’s three friends to whom God said, “I am angry with you … for you have not spoken accurately about me,…” (Job 42:7-8).

Steve Cornell

Scene 3 – Life as a prisoner

Audio message for all five scenes: Play Audio!

Sold to a different human owner, Joseph soon found himself in more painful and perplexing circumstances beyond his control. But he also continues to experience the Lord’s presence and blessing through it all.

“Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt. Potiphar, an Egyptian who was one of Pharaoh’s officials, the captain of the guard, bought him from the Ishmaelites who had taken him there. The Lord was with Joseph so that he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. When his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord gave him success in everything he did, Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned” (Genesis 39:1-4).

Another trial for Joseph

Joseph had the “misfortune” of being “well-built and handsome” (Genesis 39:6a). This would result in Joseph being the object of lust and false accusation. As the story continues, “After a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, ‘Come to bed with me!’” (Genesis 39:6b-7).

This was a very real and dangerous test for Joseph. Sexual temptation is real for all men. Joseph, however, responded with a kind of principled integrity that sets a great example for all men.

Yet doing what was right did not mean that he would be “blessed” circumstantially. Joseph paid a severe price for his obedience.

Follow closely the line of reasoning he used for refusing to give in to sexual temptation.  “With me in charge,” he told her, “my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” (Genesis 39:8-9).

Guided by four great principles — Trust, Reputation, Ownership, and Obedience to God, Joseph stood firm against temptation.

Did God bless him for his obedience? Should we expect obedience to bring blessing? Did it for Jesus?

Joseph stood his ground even as things intensified from sexual temptation to sexual harassment. “And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her” (Genesis 39:10). The persistence of this woman would not be deterred and Joseph couldn’t do anything to change what happened as a result.

Often in life we become the object of other people’s passions. Joseph was the object of parental favoritism, sibling envy and hatred and now lust and false accusation by Potiphar’s wife.

Another abrupt change occurs for Joseph.

“One day he (Joseph) went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. She caught him by his cloak and said, ‘Come to bed with me!’ But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house. When she saw that he had left his cloak in her hand and had run out of the house, she called her household servants. ‘Look,’ she said to them, ‘this Hebrew has been brought to us to make sport of us! He came in here to sleep with me, but I screamed. When he heard me scream for help, he left his cloak beside me and ran out of the house.’ She kept his cloak beside her until his master came home. Then she told him this story: ‘That Hebrew slave you brought us came to me to make sport of me. But as soon as I screamed for help, he left his cloak beside me and ran out of the house. When his master heard the story his wife told him, saying, ‘This is how your slave treated me,’ he burned with anger. Joseph’s master took him and put him in prison, the place where the king’s prisoners were confined” (Genesis 39:11-20).

Have you ever been falsely accused?

It is a very painful experience. It cuts into a person’s heart. When we do the right thing only to be misrepresented, slandered and wrongly charged, temptations toward self-pity, resentment and despair are hard to overcome.

How would Joseph respond to this abrupt and undeserved turn in his life? Would he be confused? No doubt! Would you have been?

Could you hear his prayers, “Dear God how could this happen to me?” “Haven’t I suffered enough?” “How much can one man take?” “I tried to do the right thing and look where it landed me!”

We don’t read much about Joseph’s struggles but we must not treat him as if he didn’t. I am sure he wrestled through a number of dark nights of the soul. Have you had any dark nights like this?

Shortly we’ll notice that Joseph did not take lightly or completely forget the wrongs committed against him. Joseph was human and battled feelings common to all people.

But, again, I suspect that through a series of deep, dark nights of the soul, Joseph reaffirmed his conclusions about God and life (we will see these soon).

Once again, he faced options. We always do in our trials. Joseph needed something to lift him from the temptation to self-pity and despair; resentment and bitterness.

If he had chosen these responses, the story would not have been the same — for him and for many others (Genesis 45:7; 50:20). Our responses always have generational consequences.

Joseph prospers in the prison

“But while Joseph was there in the prison, the Lord was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden. So the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. The warden paid no attention to anything under Joseph’s care, because the Lord was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did” (Genesis 39:21-23).
 
Notice again that the Lord’s presence with Joseph and the blessings of God’s kindness and Joseph’s success (whatever it looked like) did not translate into immediate release from prison.

• So what did God’s kindness look like in prison?
• How did Joseph experience it?
• Did he question whether God cared?
• Did Joseph pray for release?

We know his desire for release and memory of his suffering never left him. Some time later he would interpret a dream for a new prisoner that indicated this prisoner would soon be released. Then he said to the prisoner, “But when all goes well with you, remember me and show me kindness; mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison. For I was forcibly carried off from the land of the Hebrews, and even here I have done nothing to deserve being put in a dungeon” (Genesis 40:14-15, emphasis mine). His sense of justice was clear.

The prisoner was released just as Joseph said. No doubt, this inspired renewed hope in Joseph that he would be release from prison. Yet to Joseph’s trial was added the additional pain of being forgotten.

With a simple stroke of the historian’s pen we read, “The chief cupbearer (the prisoner who had been released), did not remember Joseph; he forgot him” (Genesis 40:23).

It hurts to be forgotten.

Could you hear his prayers? “Please God, cause him to mention me.” “Don’t let me be forgotten in this place.” “I have had so much evil committed against me, I am not sure I can take much more.”

But again, with another simple stroke of the pen we learn that, “When two full years had passed…” (Genesis 41:1), Joseph would finally be remembered.

Have you ever had to wait two full years for something? Why two full years? How did Joseph guard his heart against discouragement and despair? Was God not good and great enough to lift him from this dungeon?

At the risk of being repetitive, allow me to again emphasize that through a series of deep dark nights of the soul, Joseph had to reaffirm his conclusions about God and life. He needed something to lift him from temptation to self-pity, resentment and bitterness.

Ultimately, we see that he resisted the temptation to resign to fate — to stop believing that God cared. There was something stronger that held and guided Joseph through his many abrupt changes and dark years of doubt and discouragement?

But it also protected Joseph from a darker prison — the prison of anger, resentment and bitterness. More than that, (and how important this is), Joseph’s chosen perspective blessed many people and preserved a remnant for Israel (Genesis 45:7; 50:20). 

Steve Cornell

Scene 2 – Life as a slave

 

Audio message for all five scenes: Play Audio!

At the vulnerable age of seventeen, (at the hands of his very own brothers), Joseph was ripped from his family and sold into slavery.

“So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe… and they took him and threw him into the well. The well was empty; there was no water in it… Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? Come, let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood.” His brothers agreed” (Genesis 37:23-27).

We can be sure that slavery to the Ishmaelites was no picnic. Separated from his home and parents at such a young age, Joseph was thrown into a life of uncertainty, loneliness and severe hardship.

• An occasion for resentment and bitterness? Yes!
• How would Joseph resolve this bizarre twist of circumstances?
• How would he protect his heart from anger, bitterness and hatred?
• More importantly, how would he trace the hand of God in the painful mess of life?

Joseph’s brothers then lied to their father about his disappearance.

“They got Joseph’s robe, slaughtered a goat and dipped the robe in the blood. They took the robe back to their father and said, ‘We found this. Examine it to see whether it is your son’s robe.’ He recognized it and said, ‘It is my son’s robe! Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely been torn to pieces.’ Then Jacob tore his clothes, and mourned for his son many days. All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. ‘No,’ he said, ‘in mourning will I go down to the grave to my son.’ So his father wept for him. Meanwhile, the Midianites sold Joseph in Egypt to Potiphar, one of Pharaoh’s officials, the captain of the guard” (Genesis 37:31-36).

In a casual stroke of the historian’s pen, we learn that, “Meanwhile the Midianites sold Joseph in Egypt to Potiphar, one of Pharaoh’s officials, the captain of the guard.”

From one human owner to another, Joseph’s life appears to be defined by the evil actions of his envious and hateful brothers.

During these dark days, do you think Joseph missed his home and his father? Did he pray for release and an opportunity to go home? Of course he did. But, as the years passed, so many experiences would be lost and never regained.

Think of what could be lost from age 17 to 32!

But far from family and all that was familiar, Joseph maintained his faith in God, his care for others and an amazingly deep personal integrity.

These should have been some of the best years of life. When youth merges with adulthood, career, marriage and family, the blessings should be multiplied as they are shared with extended family. Joseph, however, would be deprived of these experiences. 

• How many times did he pray to be restored to his family?
• Why did his prayers go unanswered for so long?
• How could he trace the hand of a good God in what he would later call, “the land of my suffering” (Genesis 41:52)?

It isn’t difficult to imagine Joseph’s heartache from missing all those years with his family.

Loss is one of the hardest human experiences.

Did he resolve matters with God through many dark nights of the soul? We know Joseph’s father wept and mourned for his son many days and refused to be comforted” (Genesis 37:34). No doubt, Joseph also wept and prayed — pouring his broken heart out to God (we see his deep emotion at the time of his reunion with his brothers).

Did God meet him as “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles”? (II Corinthians 1:3,4). Repeatedly we are reminded of God’s presence with Joseph.  

• But what did God’s presence mean if it never resulted in a trip home?
• Did Joseph stop praying for the one thing he wanted more than anything else? How did he protect his heart from turning in on itself in bitterness and despair? What did he do with his pain?
• And, more importantly, what did he allow his pain to do to him?

There is no way to regain lost years. As those years passed, Joseph’s heart could have easily grown bitter or turned to a sense of futility and despair.

In this world, it doesn’t take long to collect your share of losses. Have you ever felt tempted to add up your losses?

Although blessed in many ways, I have had my share of setbacks and trials. I have also walked closely with many who have suffered more intensely than me.

When the sun stays hidden for years, the mind easily wanders into a tunnel of despair and the heart can slowly turn to resentment and bitterness. One person, describing such an experience said, “If you could lick my heart, it would poison you.”

When setbacks and losses multiply, the optimism of youth easily becomes the pessimism and despair of age. We must fight against this drift into discouragement and despair. I am reminded of an exhortation given by a good friend:

“We need to stop wasting God’s time rehearsing our pain and start leveraging the opportunities before us.” (Crawford Lorrits)

Joseph’s story will help us find our way out of the tunnel. He will teach us how to respond when it feels like the Sun stays hidden for years. He will guide us away from the bitterness that poisons hearts and destroys lives. As you follow Joseph life through all five scenes, you will be personally encouraged and better equipped to help others navigate the losses of life in a fallen world.

Steve Cornell