Unsafe protective mechanisms

treat-thumb“Adults who survived toxic upbringings give extended life to the damage caused by them when they cling to protective mechanisms. They sabotage their relationships in seemingly irrational and confusing ways. I’ve witnessed far too many examples of a painful past becoming the thief of future intimacy.”

“Thriving marriages require levels of vulnerability, transparency, and trust that feel inaccessible to those who shielded themselves from adults for many years. They prefer the safety of protectively circling the wagons to reduce the risk of more hurt—even though it hurts those who would never hurt them.”

(From Chapter 8 – “Unsafe protective mechanisms” in “The 18-Year factor: How Our Upbringing Affects Our Lives and Relationships” Purchase here)

Steve Cornell

About Wisdomforlife

Just another worker in God's field.
This entry was posted in 18 Year factor, Child Abuse, Divorce and Remarriage, Guidelines for marriage decision, Marriage, marriage problems, troubled marriage, Wisdom. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Unsafe protective mechanisms

  1. Reblogged this on Wisdomforlife and commented:

    Understanding the past to make a better future – small excerpt fro my book…


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