It’s hard to overemphasize the importance of maturity to a good relationship – especially marriage.
Reflect on the qualities of maturity below. Examine your own life before applying it to others. Focus on being the kind of person that your current or future spouse needs.
When you recognize patterns of immaturity in your life or in others, remember that life-patterns rarely appear without a history. Looking closely and honestly at our history is essential to breaking immature patterns of life.
Characteristics of maturity
The characteristics below are not a complete description of a mature person. They do, however, offer a starting point for self-evaluation and for conversation with others.
- Not easily angered
- Not overly sensitive (taking everything personally)
- Can laugh at himself/herself
- Avoids childish drama
- Grateful for small blessings
- Doesn’t consistently choose a negative perspective
- Doesn’t major on minors
- Not narcissistic
- Not manipulative
- Takes responsibility for his actions
- Avoids the blame game
- Rejects a mentality of victimization
- Chooses honesty over deception
- Makes carefully thought-out decisions
- Shows respect to others
- Practices tolerance
- Shows compassion with discernment
- Doesn’t take life too seriously, but takes it seriously enough
- Willing to look beyond personal opinions to empathize with others
- Knows when to joke and when not to
- Able to admit when wrong
- Doesn’t gloat when right
- A capacity to endure uncertainty
- Accepts deferred gratification
- Doesn’t take important things for granted
- Forgives without enabling
Tough question – How can you know whether a potential mate has these characteristics?
Keep in mind that we live in a fake it till you make it culture. Dating often conceals information marriage will later reveal. Be patient when considering a potential mate. It takes time to get to know the true character of another person.
I recommend allowing at least four seasons to pass (winter, spring, summer and fall) before giving your heart to another.
Get the conversation started.