What does maturity look like?

Most visited posts It’s hard to overemphasize the importance of maturity to a good relationship – especially marriage. 

Reflect on the qualities of maturity below. Examine your own life before applying it to others.  Focus on being the kind of person that your current or future spouse needs. 

When you recognize patterns of immaturity in your life or in others, remember that life-patterns rarely appear without a history. Looking closely and honestly at our history is essential to breaking immature patterns of life. 

Characteristics of maturity 

The characteristics below are not a complete description of a mature person.  They do, however, offer a starting point for self-evaluation and for conversation with others.

  • Not easily angered
  • Not overly sensitive (taking everything personally)
  • Can laugh at himself/herself
  • Avoids childish drama
  • Grateful for small blessings
  • Doesn’t consistently choose a negative perspective
  • Doesn’t major on minors
  • Not narcissistic
  • Not manipulative
  • Patient
  • Dependable
  • Takes responsibility for his actions
  • Avoids the blame game
  • Rejects a mentality of victimization
  • Chooses honesty over deception
  • Makes carefully thought-out decisions
  • Shows respect to others
  • Practices tolerance
  • Shows compassion with discernment
  • Doesn’t take life too seriously, but takes it seriously enough
  • Willing to look beyond personal opinions to empathize with others
  • Knows when to joke and when not to
  • Able to admit when wrong
  • Doesn’t gloat when right
  • A capacity to endure uncertainty
  • Accepts deferred gratification
  • Doesn’t take important things for granted
  •  Forgives without enabling

Tough question – How can you know whether a potential mate has these characteristics?

Keep in mind that we live in a fake it till you make it culture. Dating often conceals information marriage will later reveal. Be patient when considering a potential mate. It takes time to get to know the true character of another person.

I recommend allowing at least four seasons to pass (winter, spring, summer and fall) before giving your heart to another.

Get the conversation started.

Steve Cornell

About Wisdomforlife

Just another worker in God's field.
This entry was posted in Broken Relationships, Dating, Engagement, Love, Marriage, Maturity and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to What does maturity look like?

  1. Excellent advice on looking at personal history. It is the root of many negative and irrational behaviors. It’s also impossibly hard to do once people are settled into marriage. Yet still possible to not only look back, but to overcome and transform.
    John

  2. I love this list! My husband and I are in our second year of marriage and have just started to come out of a long rough patch, mostly due to selfishness and immaturity. I can’t wait to use this list in our next discussion to help us think more thoughtfully about our relationship. Thank you! God bless.

  3. Frank Wunder says:

    I’d be interested to know, Steve, if you present this fairly to both sexes with equal expectations?

    Here’s another aspect to consider: this list is lost on most people under 30. Don’t disagree with me because its true.

    Here’s a great article on Breitbart:

    http://www.breitbart.com/london/2014/12/09/the-sexodus-part-2-dishonest-feminist-panics-leave-male-sexuality-in-crisis/#disqus_thread

    So the real question becomes why should young people seek to embody the virtues of that list when the very culture they live in tells them otherwise and rewards them for it?

  4. Pingback: Maturity in Marriage | His Love is Better Than Wine

  5. Pingback: Relationship advice for singles | Wisdomforlife

  6. Pingback: What does maturity look like? | Wisdomforlife

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