Why marriages don’t last

Sociologist Andrew Cherlin of Johns Hopkins University suggested that the majority of divorces occur within 10 years of the time of marriage because “most people who are unhappily married figure that out quickly.” 

There’s typically more to divorce decisions than happiness, but there is little doubt that our culture has elevated personal happiness to an unrealistic and deeply misguided level of importance. This likely contributes significantly to the pervasive reality of divorce.

Faulty expectations for gregariousness can make life a miserable story. It takes maturity to understand and grow through struggle, sadness, disappointment and hardship. Here’s a simple fact: Marriage is not supposed to make you happy; it’s meant to make you married.

Marriage is not about a feeling of love but an agreement to love. It takes work for marriage to work. Many marriages would improve if husbands and wives placed a greater value on the role of commitment reflected in their wedding vows. 

“Commitment is having a long-term view of marriage that helps us not get overwhelmed by the problems and challenges day-to-day. When there is high commitment in a relationship, we feel safer and are willing to give more for the relationship to succeed” (Dr. William H. Doherty).

Consider 5 commitments for a good marriage.

Steve Cornell

About Wisdomforlife

Just another worker in God's field.
This entry was posted in Broken Relationships, Divorce, Divorce and Remarriage, Encouragement, Marital Separation, Marriage, Relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Why marriages don’t last

  1. Pingback: Why marriages don’t last | MadeleineMaya

  2. Pingback: Why marriages don’t last | MadeleineMaya

  3. Harriman Saragih says:

    Reblogged this on harrimansaragih and commented:
    Marriage is not about a feeling of love but an agreement to love. It takes work for marriage to work.

  4. Harriman Saragih says:

    Thank you, Steve.

    I’ve always wanted to learn about love by Bible and also researches conducted by scientists, so I can see it in 2 perspectives.

    Thank you for sharing.

  5. Thank you for subscribing which presented an opportunity to view your most exciting and interesting work! Eddie

  6. Robyn says:

    “Marriage is not about a feeling of love but an agreement to love.” Marriage is more about growing to a maturity level when you can love in spite of the absence of the ‘feeling’ of love. We are supposed to want what God wants … what makes Him happy. I don’t think it makes Him happy when we throw our spouse under the bus (divorce them) because they aren’t doing what we think they should be doing –> keeping us happy.

  7. Jill says:

    Divorce has a tremendous cost. Take this from one who was divorced by a man who determined we were too different, argue too much and he just didn’t feel anything anymore. I not only spent 20,000 to be divorced but have had a difficult time financially supporting my daughters. This does not even mention all the emotional cost of divorce. I have never cried more in my life…

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