1. Truth – Dating is a time when people tend to conceal information that marriage will inevitably reveal. So use your brain and guard your heart! Let your head lead your heart.
Don’t give your heart to anyone until your head processes the data necessary to making a wise decision.
It’s almost impossible to talk someone’s head out of a bad relationship after she’s given her heart to it. Slow down and look beyond the surface.
2. Truth – Become the person that the person you’re looking for is looking for.
Focus on becoming the person that your future spouse will need. If you follow this advice it will help you attract and be attracted to the right kind of person.
Focus especially on maturity. An immature person thinks the world turns around his desires and comforts. He doesn’t tend to think much beyond himself and is therefore not a good candidate for marriage. (See – What does maturity look like?)
3. Truth – A mature understanding of love is essential
Marriage is not about being in love but an agreement to love; it’s not about feeling loved but valuing each other. Feelings of love tend to follow the choice to be loving.
A shallow understanding of love will not lead to deeply meaningful companionship.
4. Truth – Marriage is not meant to make you happy
We have a cultural obsession with personal happiness as a fundamental right – if not, a sign of mental health.
Happiness is a by-product of maturity and good priorities. When personal happiness becomes our primary focus, it becomes more elusive.
Happiness is discovered when people decide to be responsible and to serve others more than themselves.
I am not suggesting we become stoic realists about pleasure and enjoyment. But I am saying that true and lasting satisfaction come from a refusal to treat felt needs as the highest priorities of life.
5. Truth – Follow the greatest example of self-giving love .
Self-giving love enriches marriage. Jesus Christ set the supreme example of this love.
“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had” (Philippians 2:3-5).