Conflict – an opportunity to grow stronger

Mature perspective on conflict

The key to unity in a marriage, family or Church is not the removal of all conflict (that happens in heaven).

Instead of being unrealistically alarmed by disagreements and conflict, we should view them as opportunities to grow deeper and stronger in our love for one another (I Peter 4:8).

God provides many opportunities (through conflicts) for us to practice the kind of love He demonstrated (Romans 5:6-8).

The key to unity then is a deeply shared commitment to work through our differences and pursue reconciliation based on God’s love for us in Christ (see: Ephesians 4:32-5:1; Titus 3:3-7). 

Make every effort….. (memorize these verses)

• “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace” (Romans 14:19).
• “Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3).
• “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy” (Hebrews 12:14).
• “Do everything without complaining or arguing” (Philippians 2:14).
• “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins” (offenses)” (I Peter 4:8).
• “It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel” (Proverbs 20:3).

 Love is anti-rivalry and peace-building 

• “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (I Corinthians 13:4-7).

Balancing truths

• According to Scripture, conflicts must be resolved based on two principles (see – Two principles for resolving conflict).
• It’s not always what you say but how you say it (see – Watch Your Tone)
• How do you move toward reconciliation when you’ve been deeply or repeatedly hurt? (see – 7 signs of true repentance)
• Confronting those we love (see – Instruments of godly sorrow).
• Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same (see – Forgiveness & Reconciliation).

Short audio clips

• Reconciled relationships
• Antagonistic people
• Dress code for Church
• Radical Unity through the gospel

Steve Cornell