We’ve all been sexual deviants — if only in our minds. We all need God’s grace and forgiveness. We’re continuously tempted toward deviant sexual behavior.
When it comes to homosexuality, although some people might be biologically inclined toward same-sex attraction and others had it forced on them against their wills, ultimately it becomes a behavior to choose or to resist — like all sexual conduct.
A man could love another man and care for him without it being a homosexual relationship. The relationship only becomes homosexual when one engages in sexual acts. It is best to think of homosexuality as behavior. “Homosexual” refers not to one’s nature or disposition but to one’s behavior. Yes, the Bible treats homosexuality as one more expression of “the desires of the sinful nature” (Galatians 5:16-21;Romans 1:24-26). But we should not define personhood based on desires.
I do not think it is best to speak of any type of sexual behavior outside of the context of human choosing. On this view, for someone tempted by homosexual desire, the answer is not: “You must become heterosexual.” The answer is the same for all sexual temptation: resist temptation and obey God.
We cannot approve any sexual behavior simply because a person desires it or feels it to be natural to himself. Although I believe that heterosexual behavior is the God-intended design for human beings, I do not believe that all heterosexual behavior is acceptable (adultery is one example of wrongful heterosexual conduct).
If someone asks me if I chose my heterosexuality, I am not sure what answering such a question will accomplish. I think the question is designed to trace the origins of sexual orientation. But even if I was born genetically preconditioned to be sexually attracted to women, it doesn’t mean that this attraction is always right. It might be but it might also be wrong.
Answering source questions will not necessarily lead to moral assessments. Morality has to do with right and wrong. Source questions are more complex than many admit. Sources can include genetic, cultural, experiential and social contributors. But sources cannot force me to behave in a certain way. They can exercise strong influence but I must exercise my will in relation to the influences. My commitment to human dignity demands this understanding. This means, among other things, that I must look elsewhere for deciding matters of right and wrong.