Burnout? Not me!

With the odds stacked against me, I poured myself into my work with unbalanced fervor. The threat of burnout would have never entered my mind. Full of vision and a touch of naïveté, I had a calling to answer and a job to do. Nothing but full throttle ahead would be acceptable. Ready to tackle the work of starting a Church in the university town of Millersville, my expectant wife and I moved to the community in 1985.

In the first five years, our little group of seven grew to more than a hundred people and our family grew to include three children four years old and under. During the first four years of ministry, I had to work on the side to support our young family. Looking back, I now realize it was more like working two full time jobs. By the fifth year, on a very modest salary, we were able to devote full time to the ministry. And after that year, we decided a vacation would be a good idea. My wife tried to convince me that two weeks would be best but I didn’t want to leave the work for that long. We settled on a week away. Occasionally, my wife reminds me of how hard it was in the early years to get me to take time off.

When we arrived at our vacation destination, I unloaded the luggage and baby paraphernalia and laid down for a rest. I will never forget what I felt at that moment. A sense of deep concern came over me when I realized how alarmingly depleted I had become. I pushed myself to a scary point of exhaustion. My wife had tried to slow me down but it took getting away for me to come to my senses. I knew I couldn’t possibly continue the pace of my life. I realized it wouldn’t be fair to my family and that I would risk burnout. My pace was not sustainable for the long run.

Some will read this and say, “Been there; done that!” Others might wonder if this describes their present condition. It’s amazing how oblivious one can be to the threat of burnout until it hits with full force. Overload comes too easily. Margin and balance are hard to maintain. Opportunities outweigh resources. The good threatens the best. A young pastor once said, “I’d rather burn out than rust out.” But a more seasoned pastor reminded the younger leader that either way you’re out.

One observer noted five signs of burnout, (1) Decreased energy -‘keeping up the speed’ becomes increasingly difficult; (2) feeling of failure in vocation; (3) reduced sense of reward in return for pouring so much of self into the job or project; (4) a sense of helplessness and inability to see a way out of problems; and (5) cynicism and negativism about self, others, work and the world generally.

If you’re experiencing physical depletion and fatigue; if you’ve begun to deeply question your effectiveness and battle with negative attitudes towards life and other people; if you feel a growing desire to withdraw from responsibilities and detach from people; if you experience a growing sense of hopelessness, your condition might be a case of burnout.

What should you do? When I realized my level of exhaustion, I knew several things had to change. First, I had to deflate the ego. Even though I was not egotistical, I had the wrong view of my own importance to the Church. I had to realize that the ministry does not depend on me as much as I thought. It belongs to God and I am a replaceable part of his work.

Secondly, I had to do a better job of sharing the work. I began to pray that God would bring some low maintenance, high givers (and this didn’t refer to money). We needed people who were mature and ready to share the work. I had to be selective about investing in people who desired to participate in the Church instead of devoting time to those who had no desire to serve. One of the best decisions we made was to add an associate pastor during our fifth year of ministry.

Thirdly, I learned to say no to things I didn’t really need to do. This required regular reminders from those around me and a willingness on my part to listen to them. Keeping the main thing the main thing is an ongoing battle. Simplify and prioritize has been my motto.

Finally, although many other points could be made, I had to prioritize quiet time for prayer and reflection. Those who give large amounts of themselves away must balance life with solitude and self-reflection to replenish for more giving. Opening Scripture and meeting God in His written word each day is an indispensible part of living a well-balanced and healthy life. On one occasion, Jesus said to his disciples, “Come away to a secluded place and rest a while” (Mark 6:31). This is good advice for those facing the threat of burnout.

Steve Cornell

  

PS–I AM LEADING A CHURCH LEADERSHIP CONFERENCE ON THIS THEME NEXT WEEK (MON-WED) AT SANDY COVE IN NORTHEAST MARYLAND. IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO SIGN UP!! SEE: http://thinkpoint.wordpress.com/church-leaders-sign-up-today/

IF YOU CAN’T MAKE IT, PLEASE PRAY FOR IT TO BE A GREAT TIME FOR THE MORE THAN 200 LEADERS PRESNTLY SIGNED UP TO ATTEND.

MANY, MANY THANKS!!!

A hand from heaven to deliver you from besetting sins?

Dr. Erwin Lutzer, pastor of historic Moody Church, traces a common pattern of sin through five steps. “We’ve all experienced the pattern,” he wrote. ”Sinful habits begin innocently enough, but if we don’t master them, they will surely master us.” 

1. Enjoy a forbidden pleasure 

2. Feel guilty 

3. Determine never to do it again

4. Take pride in brief moments of self-control

5. Then fail once more. 

“Each time we repeat the pattern, the ruts are cut a bit deeper, the chain pulls tighter” (Lutzer).

A Roman Philosopher once cried out, “Oh that a hand would come down from heaven and deliver me from my besetting sin!” “His plea,” wrote Lutzer, “has been echoed throughout the centuries. We’ve all wished for the same miracle.”

“Can we really be delivered from the one-step-forward and two-backward routine? At times I’ve thought the answer to the question was No. Despite my sincere attempts at yielding myself to God. I retained certain weaknesses (sins is a more honest word) that I concluded I would simply have to live with. After all, no one is perfect!  But I knew my private failure was no credit to Christ, who won the victory on the cross. Did He not promise that we could be free indeed? Through many failures and a few victories I’ve discovered that the most persistent sin can be dislodged. We can be free from sins, even the ones safely tucked away in the crevices of our souls.”

“Imagine a city that is constantly being attacked at a vulnerable point along one of its walls. The enemy habitually exploits the same weakness—with startling success.  Don’t you think that the inhabitants would rebuild the defective fortification in preparation for the next assault? Yet countless Christians repeatedly succumb to the same temptations without a constructive program for strengthening their defenses. They have accepted failure as a way of life, reasoning, ‘That’s just the way I am.’”

“God has a different plan—for which He has given us a message of deliverance and hope. True, there are no easy miracles. Our success is neither instant nor automatic. Slick and easy solutions lead to false expectations which, in turn, spawn disappointment and unbelief. Applying biblical principles takes time and discipline. But steady progress is possible. Even long-established and sinful behavior patterns can be replaced by wholesome attitudes and actions” (Lutzer).

What was the cry of the Roman Philosopher? “Oh, that a hand would come down from heaven and deliver me from my besetting sin!” This is the cry of a man who reaches the point in his struggle against sin where he realizes that without intervention from heaven, he will forever be bound to besetting sin. Like so many others, he wanted freedom from the controlling power of sin and he knew he couldn’t gain it in his own strength.             

The good news for those who feel bound by sin’s power is that more than a hand has come down from Heaven! God Himself came down from Heaven! The apostle John wrote, “the Word, (i. e. the Lord Jesus Christ) who was with God and who was God became flesh and made his dwelling among us” (Jn. 1:1,14,29). When he came, his earthly father Joseph was told to give Him the name Jesus, “because He will save His people from their sins.” (Matt. 1:21)         

In His death for our sins, Jesus not only removed sin’s penalty, he also broke sin’s power (I Jn. 3:7-9; Rom. 6:1-14a). Those who are united with Christ can be free from the controlling power of sin. Through our union with Jesus at salvation, “sin shall not be our master” (Romans 6:14).          

After Jesus was raised from the dead and ascended to the Father, he sent the Spirit (Jn. 7:37-39; 14:15-17; 16:5-15; Acts 1:4-9). Ever since the Spirit came on the day of Pentecost, all who place faith in Jesus as Savior and confess Him as Lord (at that moment) receive the gift of the Spirit. Scripture teaches that, all believers are indwelt by the Holy Spirit (Rom. 8:9; I Cor. 6:19-20; II Cor. 1:21-22; Gal. 3:2-5; Ja. 4:5). If you are a believer, God dwells in you by His Spirit!           

And, the Spirit of God in us is the agent and power for enabling us to live a life that pleases God.  Galatians 5:16 says, “so I say”, (better, “but” I say). This is a common formula, used by Paul, to alert his readers to an emphatic point. ”Here is my advice.” Or, “Here is the remedy for the situation described in v. 15.” (Phillips). To protect the community from destruction, each member must “live or walk by the Spirit.”   

Galatians 5:16 is a command with a promise attached to it. The command:  “live or walk by the Spirit” The promise: “you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature (or flesh).”

The RSV translates this as two commands, the second being, “do not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Yet, although there are similar commands (e.g. Rom. 6:12-13; 13:14; I Peter 2:11). Galatians 5:16 is a promise or word of assurance indicating the means for gaining victory over sin, “Paul was making a strong assertion that once the Galatians allowed the Spirit to guide them, then they would ‘never satisfy the flesh’”(Moffatt). 

Galatians 5:17 expands on the conflict that confronts every believer. It is a conflict between two wills: My will and God’s will – “the ought to” and  “the want to.” Of course, it’s great when they work in unity. When I will to do what God wills for me to do, when I want to do what I ought to do, life is so much better! Often we experience an ongoing conflict or tension between these two forces. Sometimes it becomes intense and unrelenting (Rom. 7:19, 21-25). 

Where do we look for strength and power to overcome? “Walk by the Spirit…” (a present tense verb) “Keep on walking…” (Galatians 5:16). This is not something one must do from time to time. It’s a way of life! It is long obedience in the same direction. We cannot get to a place where we no longer experience the tension. There is no secret spiritual technique or second blessing that will put us above the battleground. “We all stumble in many ways” (James 3:1). “If you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” (I Corinthians 10:12). The moment you think you are invulnerable to the allurement of sinful desires—you are most vulnerable. If you think you have reached some higher plane of spirituality—above the conflict between flesh and spirit—you are truly self-deluded and in greater danger of sinning.           

“No Christians” one wrote, ”are so spiritually strong or mature that they need not heed his warning, but neither are any so weak or vacillating that they cannot be free from the tyranny of the flesh through the power of the Spirit…In the battle between the forces of flesh and Spirit there is no stalemate, but the Spirit takes the lead, overwhelms, and thus defeats evil.”         

There are four verbs used in Galatians 5 to describe the dynamic involvement of the Spirit in the life of the believer, (all of them roughly equivalent in meaning).

          v.16 – “live/walk by the Spirit”

          v.18 – “led by the Spirit”

          v.25a – “live by the Spirit”

          v.25b – “keep in step with the Spirit”

Add to these the call to bear the fruit of the Spirit and sow to the Spirit (Galatians 5,6). All of these fit under the command in Ephesians 5:18, “Be filled with the Spirit.” They also send a strong reminder of how completely dependent we must be on the Spirit’s presence and power in our lives.  

A man once came to a Pastor and explained about how impossible it was to live a Christian life. The Pastor agreed and the man was taken back! He expected to be rebuked and set straight. Instead, the Pastor congratulated him for learning the most important lesson for living a victorious Christian life. What is it? That you cannot do it in your own strength! You must live in total dependence on God.         

But this is not the “let go and let God” approach. We are not passive recipients of God’s activity in our lives. We are active participants (Philippians 2:12-13). It requires a constant practice of humbling oneself before God and learning to lean on Him and look to Him (cf. Deut. 8:1-3- God will teach you this). It involves commitment to all the spiritual disciplines out of recognition of need and dependence on the Lord.           

Steve Cornell

8 Dynamics of Addiction and A plan for change

 

 

Overcoming Addiction

 

 

Overcoming Addiction

Do you struggle with addictive behavior? I have repeatedly counseled people caught in the grip of addiction. This would include addictions to alcohol, spending money, tobacco, food, gambling, pornography, drugs, exercise, sleeping, televised sports, and more. The pain in the lives of the addict and those close to him is often significant. Addictions have the power to leave a trail of shattered lives in their wake. The first steps to overcoming a bad habit include an understanding what it is and an admission to having a problem with it. But what does addiction look like? Consider eight dynamics of addiction: 

1.     Repetition of pleasurable and therefore habit-forming behavior, plus escalating tolerance and desire.

2.     Unpleasant after effects of such behavior, including withdrawal symptoms and self-reproach.

3.     Vows to moderate or quit, followed by relapses and attendant feelings of guilt, shame and general distress.

4.     Attempts to ease this distress with new rounds of the addictive behavior (or with the first rounds of a companion addiction).

5.     Deterioration of work and relationships, with accompanying cognitive disturbances, including denial, delusions, and self-deceptions, especially about the effects of the addiction, and the degree to which one is enthralled by it.

6.     Gradually increasing preoccupation, then obsession, with the addictor.

7.     Compulsivity in addictive behavior; evidence that one’s will has become at least partly split, enfeebled, and enslaved.

8.     A tendency to draw others into the web of addiction, people who support and enable the primary addiction.  These “co-dependents” present certain addictive patterns of their own—in particular, the simultaneous need to be needed by the addict and to control him.  The co-dependent relationship is thus one in which primary and parasitic additions join.

                                                                          (From: Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be, Cornelius Plantinga Jr.)

Do you find it hard to break bad habits? Many realize they need to break from wrong behavior but have given up trying. After having tried and failed so many times, they’ve lost all hope of change.

If you’ve accepted failure as a way of life, a change of attitude is your first need. No easy formulas exist for changing deeply ingrained habits, but change itself is impossible for those who accept defeat. We are deeply affected by the mindsets we choose for ourselves. Change must begin in our thinking before it affects our behavior. Lasting change requires daily choices to look at life through the right lens. Defeat is the wrong lens!

“Mary was overweight. The doctor assured her that the cause was not a physical problem, but was caused by her overeating. She tried several diets over a period of months.  This wasn’t easy for her; she unrealistically expected dramatic and immediate results.  Repeatedly, she broke her promises to herself. Eventually, discouragement turned to hopelessness, and Mary gave up trying to lose weight.” (Erwin Lutzer)

 

If you’ve accepted failure as a way of life, a change of attitude must occur before other changes are possible. There are no easy formulas for changing deeply ingrained habits, but change itself is impossible for those who accept defeat. Our lives are significantly affected by the mindsets we choose. Change must begin in our thinking before it affects our behavior. Lasting change requires a daily choice to look at life through the right lens. I have repeatedly learned this truth.         

 

As a teen I wasted two years in rebellion against God and all authority. I left home and joined the gang life on the streets of Philadelphia. I quickly spiraled down a bad path. After hitting the bottom, I turned to God and made a recommitment to serve him with my life. I found change to be very hard to accomplish. I also learned that my main obstacle was my mind.         

 

During my rebellion, I had accumulated bad memories that continually pulled me in the wrong direction. I knew that change would only occur if I could wash my mind of wrong thoughts and fill it with good ones (see: Philippians 4:8). This led me to an intense commitment to memorize scripture. Through the discipline of filling my mind with God’s Word, I was able to change the way I thought about life.  This progressively led to the changes I desired in my behavior.

 

The psalmist prayed, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. … I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:9-11). I recommend a 20/20 approach to scripture: read for 20 minutes; contemplate for 20 minutes. In Scripture, we find the hope and power for change.         

 

In his book, “How to Say ‘No’ to a Stubborn Habit,” Dr. Erwin Lutzer wrote, “A young man, caught in the grip of homosexuality, struggled with this sin for a period of months. God eventually changed him so radically that he developed normal attractions for the opposite sex. Today he is a godly, sensitive young man. God taught him principles of commitment which he has been able to apply to all areas of his life. He memorized more than 200 verses of scripture during those months of agonizing struggle.  His sinful habit drove him to seek God and become intimately acquainted with the Almighty. He began by being occupied with his problem; today he is occupied with his God.”         

 

Although there are no easy solutions for breaking long-established behavior patterns, change is possible. Through patient and persistent application of biblical principles, we can make steady progress. Victory is possible!         

 

Setbacks are often part of the struggle, but as Lutzer suggests, “God uses your struggle to give you a thorough housecleaning, reorganize your priorities and make you dependent on His grace … You must want spiritual freedom, not merely for our own sake, but for God’s sake as well.  Only then will you find the victory he promises.” 

 

Here is a suggested prayer to help you stay on the path of victory: 

 

“Lord, I confess my sin, particularly my rebellion against your authority. In agreeing that I have sinned, I also agree that this sin must be forsaken. Thank you for your forgiveness. I am grateful for this powerful temptation, which gave me the chance to prove that I love you more than any pleasure in the world. I thank you that the temptation is not greater than I can bear, and I rejoice at how you will use it in my life. I look forward to getting to know you better, and I am glad that you have sent me this trial as a reminder of how desperately I need you” (Erwin Lutzer).

 

Steve Cornell